


I See You Shake And Shiver

by knifelesbian



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Gen, both a groupchat au AND a scooby doo au because im AMBITIOUS, content warning: a character is forcefully outed, i know theres probably some typos sorry about that, its not talked about a lot but still, theres some supernatural stuff going on here too and it develops as the fic does, this is kind of just a fun thing for me so dont expect updates all the time lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:42:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knifelesbian/pseuds/knifelesbian
Summary: this is a bullshit groupchat au based on MY bullshit groupchat that i wanted to write because i didnt have anywhere else to fit in all my dumb runaways jokes





	1. Chapter 1

__________

 

**_Chat: Alex fucks clowns_ **

**_03/09/17_ **

 

beach lesbian: hey can I add someone to the chat?

 

**knock off ramona flowers: depends**

 

beach lesbian: on?

 

**knock off ramona flowers: if it's a guy because if so the answer? is no**

 

av club president: IF ITS A GUY MY ANSWER IS YES THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE DUDES IN THIS CHAT

 

**knock off ramona flowers: NO THERE DOESN'T**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: The only acceptable man is Alex and he only barely passes the bar**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh wait**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: and John Boyega**

 

av club president: I feel like I should be offended at only 'barely passing the bar'

 

**_hot topic vip member: don't be it's the truth_ **

 

**_Hot topic vip member: and @Karo I vote yes we need more variety I want to watch Gert tear into somebody other than Alex for a change_ **

 

**knock off ramona flowers: hey my man hating is valid they wrecked the whole world**

 

av club president: fair

 

beach lesbian: 3 to 1 that's a yes

 

beach lesbian: and he is a dude

 

**knock off ramona flowers: DIE**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: jk jk i lob u but just know how thin the ice ur standing on is right now**

 

beach lesbian: love u too and he's cool I swear, I've known him forever

 

av club president: through rich snob events? Is this guy gonna tell me All Lives Matter is a thing because Karolina...............I can't do it I can't

 

beach lesbian: no he's decent

 

beach lesbian: maybe a bit clueless but I've lectured him on a few things and he's better now since we've been friends

 

**_hot topic vip member: that's just your affect on people tho what r the DEETS_ **

 

beach lesbian: he's nice, funny, and has no friends because he got kicked off his lacrosse team for beating up a rapist

 

**knock off ramona flowers: ok I........very cautiously..........approve of him now**

 

**_beach lesbian_ ** _added_ **_toad in a hole_ ** _to the chat_

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh new guy is a brit? damn too bad**

 

**toad in a hole: ?? K as if haggis isn't THE most disgusting thing on the planet**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: I'M FROM IRELAND YOU TROGLODYTE**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: Karolina did u really go to the trouble of telling Queen Elizabeth where I'm from and then tell him the WRONG COUNTRY**

 

beach lesbian: to be fair Europe is weird

 

**knock off ramona flowers: FUCK OFF**

 

**toad in a hole: RUDE**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: ok solidarity**

 

**_knock off ramona flowers_ ** _changed_ **_beach lesbian's_ ** _name to_ **_goldfish memory_ **

 

goldfish memory: I mean. Fair

 

**knock off ramona flowers: fucking north americans this is why you almost failed world geo**

 

goldfish memory: >:(

 

**toad in a hole: by the way I have a name**

 

**toad in a hole: it's Chase nice to meet you all**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: I'm Gert(rude but if you call me that u get bloct) and my pronouns r she/her**

 

**_hot topic vip member: Nico she/her_ **

 

av club president: Alex he/him

 

**toad in a hole: brilliant and since Karolina clearly can't be trusted to tell me where you guys are from, @ Nico and Alex where do you hail from?**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh I can just tell making fun of chase-speak is going to be the new highlight of being in this chat**

 

**_hot topic vip member: toronto_ **

 

av club president: new york

 

**toad in a hole: oh cool!! I've been to New York a few times with my dad it's wicked there**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: karolina can i take him out of the chat PLEASE**

 

**toad in a hole: what?? Why**

 

goldfish memory: don't mind her she's just jealous

 

**knock off ramona flowers: I'm NOT jealous I just think it's unfair that literally everyone in this chat has been to NY but me**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: 'oh sweetie don't worry you'll get to go when you and your friends go on that little trip of yours' - my parents, for the last three years**

 

**toad in a hole: what trip?**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh the four of us (possibly + my little sister idk) are roadtripping across 'Merica when we graduate**

 

**toad in a hole: ah**

 

**toad in a hole: another question**

 

**_hot topic vip member: shoot_ **

 

**toad in a hole: why is Alex a clownfucker**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: ASDFGHJKL**

 

av club president: IM NOT A CLOWNFUCKER THIS CHAT IS JUST FULL OF ASSHOLES

 

**_hot topic vip member: we were talking about that new clown movie yesterday and we discovered that Alex thinks Bill Skarsgard is hot- 'especially in the clown makeup raw me daddy'_ **

 

av club president: OKAY I DID NOT SAY RAW ME DADDY

 

goldfish memory: it was implied

 

av club president: no it wasn't but. Fine i do think Bill Skarsgard is hot

 

**knock off ramona flowers: why do you have such bad taste in men ur mom married ur dad so it's not genetic WHAT HAPPENED**

 

av club president: DONT CALL MY DAD HOT

 

**knock off ramona flowers: but he is**

 

**_hot topic vip member: ur dads a dilf dude accept it_ **

 

**toad in a hole: good alliteration**

 

**_hot topic vip member: thnx_ **

 

av club president: my father. Is not. A dilf.

 

**_knock off ramona flowers_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Alex's dad is a dilf_ **

 

av club president: FUCK OFF STRAIGHT TO HELL

 

**knock off ramona flowers: we're both bi so according to the Christians I will c u there**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: speaking of the diehard Irish Catholics at my school**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: guess who got their locker vandalized with slurs again!**

 

goldfish memory: aw honey

 

goldfish memory: I'm sorry

 

**knock off ramona flowers: it's fine I like. Reported it and everything**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: and since the administration got replaced it's been a lot better**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: but ya know. Still sucks**

 

**toad in a hole: i'm really sorry, Gert**

 

**_hot topic vip member: give me their instas i'll dox them_ **

 

av club president: all I need is names and I'll hack them to pieces

 

**knock off ramona flowers: tbh I would if I knew who did it**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: I just!!! Want to move to Dublin!!!! I literally live fifteen minutes away from there the commute would not be that bad for my parents!!!!!! Ugh**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: anyways enough about me**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: @ chase tell us some stuff so you're not just creepin on our chat**

 

**toad in a hole: ok uh I recently started year thirteen just like you guys, I have brown hair, I'm really interested in engineering? Is that good**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh what kind of engineering?**

 

**toad in a hole: mechanical! I really like robotics and creating things and making them work better its just so interesting**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh that's so cool!! It's great that you've found something you're passionate about**

 

**toad in a hole: what do you wanna do?**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: political science!!!!! I really want to get into Mount Holyoke if I can**

 

**toad in a hole: that's the women's college in Mass, right?**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: ten points to Hufflepuff**

 

**toad in a hole: okay how the FUCK did u know my Hogwarts house we've only known each other for like an hour**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: what can I say, I have a gift**

 

**toad in a hole: hey, so why r u a knock off ramona flowers?**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: I have purple hair and Alex has a scott pilgrim fetish**

 

av club president: eat shit i do not

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh so ur talking to us now**

 

av club president: no I just needed to return for a second to defend my honor

 

**knock off ramona flowers: ok zuko**

 

av club president: I'm taking that as a compliment

 

**knock off ramona flowers: u should**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: prince of the fire nation? More like prince of my HEART**

 

**toad in a hole: I LOVE ATLA OH MY GOD**

 

**toad in a hole: real talk Katara was my first crush lol**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: she was everyone's first crush**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: ok I have a question for u it's important**

 

**toad in a hole: yea**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: legend of korra: thoughts?**

 

**toad in a hole: really good! Love the ending**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: ok u have my full approval now don't lose it**

 

**toad in a hole: ha ok i'll do my level best**

 

__________

 

**_Neeks + Karo_ **

 

**_Neeks: so how long do u think it's gonna take_ **

 

Karo: what?

 

**_Neeks: don't be coy. u were totally setting them up, weren't you?_ **

 

Karo: who, Gert and Chase? I don't know what you're talking about.

 

**_Neeks: ya you do_ **

 

Karo: ............ok but Gert is TOTALLY his type they'd be so good together

 

Karo: and to your earlier question, I'm betting about a month until Chase falls for her

 

Karo: earlier if she sends a particularly good selfie

 

__________

 

**_Chat: Alex's dad is a dilf_ **

**_07/09/17_ **

 

**_knock off ramona flowers_ ** _sent a photo_ **_: [a blurry photo of a smiling Gert and Molly]_ **

 

**knock off ramona flowers: Molly.....................has returned**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: @ chase that's my little sister on the left btw**

 

**toad in a hole: ah**

 

**toad in a hole: great photo taking skills **

 

**knock off ramona flowers: >:P**

 

**knock off ramona flowers: oh class is starting laters**

 

__________

 

**_Chase + Karo_ **

 

**Chase: Karolina why the fuck didn't you tell me Gert is so pretty!!!!!!!!! Clue me in next time!!!!!!!**

 

Karo: HA

 

**Chase: don't laugh at me you jerk**

 

**Chase: but seriously. What the fuck**

 

Karo: ikr

 

Karo: so r u like. Into her now

 

**Chase: NO**

 

**Chase: I just thinks she's gorgeous there's.........a difference**

 

Karo: .............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................k

 

__________

 

**_Chat: Alex’s dad is a dilf_ **

**_17/09/17_ **

 

**knock off ramona flowers: so what are this months most anticipated movies aka what should I go see this month**

 

**_hot topic vip member: IT_ **

 

**_hot topic vip member: honestly I’m so excited to watch Bill Skarsgard die onscreen_ **

 

**toad in a hole: does he die tho? **

 

**_hot topic vip member: idk probably_ **

 

av club president: go see Home Again

 

av club president: Nancy Meyers? Reese Witherspoon? Me, crying the whole time? All things associated with this movie

 

**toad in a hole: u don’t strike me for a romcom fan **

 

goldfish memory: and yet he’s watched When Harry Met Sally about 700 times

 

av club president: actually it’s 600 get ur facts straight

 

**_hot topic vip member: no one in this chat is straight so why do my facts have 2 b_ **

 

__________

 

Chase gets this panicked feeling in his chest when he reads the words, and his heart starts going _tha-thunk tha-thunk tha-thunk._ He knows, logically, that Nico is just forgetting about him and just means everyone else, but just the thought of people knowing that he’s……..not straight fills him with fear. It shouldn’t, but it does. When he told Karolina about maybe liking boys, too, he was scared out of his mind, but she’d been so good about it. Told him that liking the same gender shouldn’t be something he hates about himself, told him he won’t be around his father forever, told him that everything was going to be okay. He didn’t believe her, but it calmed him down. He kind of wishes Karolina lived in London, or that he could live in California, but he has to make do with one of his only friends being thousands of miles away most of the time by tagging along on all his dad’s trips to California, and FaceTiming her when he can. And, hey, now he’s got more friends! Through her! So that’s cool, even if he’s kind of nervous he’ll mess up and get kicked out of the chat, or something.

 

__________

 

**_Chat: Alex’s dad is a dilf_ **

**_26/09/17_ **

 

**knock off ramona flowers: Hey is anyone down to talk rn I. Cannot sleep**

 

**toad in a hole: I am **

 

**knock off ramona flowers: k**

 

__________

 

**_Gert + Chase_ **

 

**Gert: do u wanna play twenty questions or smth I really really cant sleep lol**

 

**Chase: do u have insomnia or something? **

 

**Gert: that and Mental Illness so basically my brain just will not shut up**

 

**Chase: that sounds literally the worst**

 

**Gert: it is**

 

**Gert: okay first question: what was the last thing u googled?**

 

**Chase: ahaha**

**Chase: um I think it was a thing for my car?**

**Chase: ok it was how to change my own oil**

 

**Gert: oh so ur a mechanic type**

 

**Chase: sort of? I just think it’s a waste of money to pay someone to do something you can so yourself **

 

**Gert: that makes sense**

 

**Chase: five people, living or dead, who you’d want at an imaginary dinner party **

 

**Gert: oh that’s a good one**

 

**Gert: Carrie Fischer, Frida Kahlo, Julie D’Aubigny, Beyonce, Daisy Ridley, Lupita N’yongo**

 

**Gert: first of all I want to meet them and talk to them personal and hear their opinions on things and see how they’d interact with each other**

 

**Gert: and second of all I want to see Lupita in person so I know what it’s like to be around the most beautiful woman in the world**

 

**Chase: fair she’s gorgeous **

 

**Gert: apologize or ask permission?**

 

**Chase: apologize **

 

**Chase: I’m kind of impulsive and I can’t take the chance that someone will say no so I just go ahead and do it **

 

**Chase: it gets me into trouble sometimes lol **

 

**Gert: I bet**

 

**Chase: you? **

 

**Gert: ask permission all the way**

 

**Gert: I mean of course there are outliers but I don’t like the risk of someone getting hurt or me fucking things up all the way to hell just because I didn’t ask ya know**

 

**Chase: okay I’ve got a good one **

 

**Chase: songs you’d play for the following three situations **

 

**Chase:  1. It's a cold december night and you're sitting in front of the fireplace thinking about Christmas 2. you're nine years old and dancing to a song on the radio 3. you're getting ready for a party and you need to get pumped up**

 

**Gert: 1. first of all I'm jewish so I don't celebrate Christmas but the sentiment is there so I'm gonna say Children's Winter it always makes me think of watching the snow fall and drinking hot cocoa and shit**

 

**Chase: oh! I didn't know I'm sorry**

 

**Gert: nah it's fine**

 

**Gert: 2. Red Haired Mary (specifically the Ennis Sisters version even though they're not really popular here I think the guy who ran the station when I was a kid was originally from the Maritimes because he played a lot of tunes from there)**

 

**Gert: 3. Good As Hell by Lizzo always puts me in a really good mood**

 

**Gert: okay can i send you three situations?**

 

**Chase: yeah sure**

 

**Gert: 1. you're sitting in the passenger seat of a car driving down an endless road in the middle of nowhere, the sky is blue and cloudless, you stick your hand out the window to see how it feels against the wind and feel at peace 2. you've invited someone over and want the night to take a romantic turn 3. you're alone on new years and you don't know how to feel about it, you just know that the year to come will be better than the last**

 

**Chase: hmm ok give me a minute**

 

**Chase: 1. How Low by Jose Gonzalez 2. I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz 3. This Year by The Mountain Goats**

 

**Gert: Jason Mraz huh**

 

**Chase: shut UP it's romantic okay**

 

**Gert: lmao no judgement**

 

**Chase: hey can I ask you something**

 

**Gert: well we are playing twenty questions so shoot I guess**

 

**Chase: are you a writer?**

 

**Gert: ? No why**

 

**Chase: idk I just. Got a vibe**

 

**Chase: you have a way with words**

 

**Gert: thanks :)**

 

**Chase: anytime **

 

**Chase: what's ur favourite movie**

 

**Chase: okay it's been a half hour I'm gonna assume ur asleep**

 

**Chase: sleep well**

 

__________

 

**_Chat: Alex's dad is a dilf_ **

**_01/10/17_ **

 

**_knock off ramona flowers_ ** _changed their name to_ **_prepare for trouble make it double_ **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING HALLOWEEN HOES**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh):  a) how did you change my name in the chat without me noticing**

**you're the one that i want (ooh ooh ooh): b) what does my name mean**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: Ay danny zuko hasn't even watched grease this is despicable**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: I changed everyone's names to what their halloween costumes would be if they actually fucking. Dressed up for my favourite holiday**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: and ur danny zuko bc you played lacrosse and that means you definitely use too much hair gel and have worn a cheap leather jacket before to impress girls**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: (the diner I waitress at in Dublin is right next to a prep school I know ur type)**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): on the basis of knowing first hand how gross lacrosse players r i will accept that**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: they ARE gross**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: I have gotten my ass slapped by an acne ridden already balding seventeen year old MANY a time**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: my boss always kicks them out and bans them tho so**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): sexism and rape culture? In my europe? It's more likely than u think**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: Gert is rubbing off on u i'm so glad_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: chaotic good jock a la channing tatum_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: ohh i love my name is karolina princess bubblegum? Cute_ **

 

princess bubblegum: YEAH IT IS

 

itsa me, mario: every year

 

itsa me, mario: every year you do this to me

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: love u baby**

 

itsa me, mario: fuck OFF don't be cute I want my name changed

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: it's tradition alex**

 

itsa me, mario: but does it have to be

 

itsa me, mario: does it really

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: accept ur fate_ **

 

__________

 

**_Chat: spooky spooky skeletons_ **

**_09/10/17_ **

 

_**prepare for trouble make it double** sent a photo: **[screenshot of Karolina's Instagram, a photo of a very buff teenage boy at the beach who's face isn't visible as he pulls off his shirt, captioned: 'I'm not taking my shirt off to get girls numbers shut up karo it's just hot out']**_

**prepare for trouble make it double: KAROLINA  
**  

**prepare for trouble make it double: WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH HOT FRIENDS**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: ok I'm scrolling through his Instagram and whaaaat theeee fuuuuuuck this is the most attractive man I've ever seen in my life**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: @ nico and alex come thirst with me hot dude is @frankensteins**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: i just found a video of him talking and how can one man be so hot and cute at the same time what the FUCK**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: hey karo tell your man friend that he is absolutely welcome to come to Ireland and (redacted) me into the mattress anytime he wants thanks**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: where ARE all of you i'm having a sexual crisis over here**

 

princess bubblegum: oh sweetheart this is about to go real bad real fast

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: WHAT**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: WHY**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): so**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): anytime I want huh**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: WHAT  
**  

**prepare for trouble make it double: OH HELL NO**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: that is not allowed to be you**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: I fucking forbid it**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): well. It is. Sorry**

 

**_itsa me, mari_** ** _o_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_gert wants to fuck chase_ **

 

**_prepare for trouble make it double_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_fuck you, clownfucker_ **

 

**_itsa me, mario_ ** _changed the chat name_ **_{locked}_ ** _to_ **_gert wants chase to fuck her_ **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: so ur aware im currently hiring a deep web hitman to come to ur house and kill you right**

 

itsa me, mario: worth it

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): can we return to gert thinking I'm hot please**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: someone's eager_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: is it perhaps because_ **

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): Nico I'm begging u to shut up**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: ok ok_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: @ gert so since when r jocks ur type I thought you went for whiny indie softboys_ **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: first of all fuck off I told you I thought an indie band frontrunner was hot ONE TIME**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: second of all Chase is NOT my type and i do NOT like him**

 

princess bubblegum: who said anything about liking him?

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: oi fuck off you know what I meant**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): so you think my accent is cute?**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: I mean................objectively...............before I knew it was u...........................................................yes**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): why does knowing it's me change things**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: it just does ok**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: like if Alex became friends with Bill Skarsgard he wouldn't be saying 'raw me daddy' about him anymore ya know**

 

itsa me, mario: you know i'd be angry but you're clearly grasping at straws for a subject change from you saying you want chase to fuck you into a mattress

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: ok u know what this is my cue to leave until everyone mostly forgets about this**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: @ chase sorry if i made u uncomfortable I wouldn't have said it if I knew you'd see it**

 

**you're the one that i want (ooh ooh ooh): no it's**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): it's fine**

 

__________

 

It is _not fine._

 

Gert is freaking out, okay? She cannot be attracted to Chase. She can't be. She won't allow it. He’s already funny and charming and interesting when they’re just talking online, he’s not allowed to be gorgeous too. 

 

And fucking hell, is he gorgeous. She wants to do………….many things to a man with his exact face and body that is NOT Chase. Because she doesn’t like Chase. She doesn’t. Wait, when did anyone say anything about liking Chase? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

 

“Hey, Gert, you okay?” Molly asks from across the dining table where she’s doing her homework. Gert had been sitting here scrolling through Chase’s Instagram and thirsting, but she can’t do that anymore.

 

“Nooooo,” she groans, banging her head against the table in frustration.

 

“What’s wrong?” 

 

“Ugh, Karolina posted a photo on Instagram of her friend who’s like, really hot, and I was talking about how hot he is in the chat completely unaware that the friend was _Chase,_ you know, the new guy, and so now he knows that I think he’s ridiculously hot and I can never talk to him again."

 

"Aw, poor baby."

 

"Oi, fuck off, I'm having a crisis." Her accent gets stronger like it always does when she's upset/frustrated/annoyed, and Molly, who barely has an accent, somehow, even though she's lived in Ireland since 1972, wrinkles her nose at her.

 

Okay, Gert should probably explain that last part.

 

One night in 1972, the seven year old daughter of two researchers followed a pretty light into the woods, and was never seen or heard from again, as far as her parents knew. Molly has told her that she danced the night away with strange beings, so beautiful tears sprung from her eyes, and when she sprinted home to tell her parents of her adventure, she found it to be 2010 and people she'd never seen before living in her home. Those people were Gert and her parents, and the rest of that year was a spiralling mess that involved searching for relatives that had since died, seeking out adoption papers for a girl that was supposed to either be fifty-five years old or............dead. It was a lot to handle for both Molly and Gert, but Gert likes to think it's what really bonded them together, in the end.

 

"You're not supposed to curse at me, Gert. Stacey said so." Molly pouts dramatically, clearly just trying to get Gert in trouble.

 

"Yeah, well, Mum isn't here right now, she's out in the fields with Dad, and if you don't tell on me I'll drive you to your next dance practice so you don't have to carpool." Molly vehemently hates carpooling, no matter how many times Gert tells her how good it is for the environment.

 

"In the clunker?" Molly groans, slumping back in her seat.

 

"Hey, don't insult Roberta," she lovingly named her car that when she first bought it- used, of course, what is she, an animal? "now, do you want a ride or not?"

 

"Only if you show me a picture of this boy you like." She's got this teasing light in her eyes- well, Molly's eyes always have a strange tint to them, like they're tiny suns. Gert has always suspected the faeries did something to her, but she's never asked Molly for fear of upsetting her. Anything to do with that night and the days after is a topic they _all_ steer clear from.

 

**"** Molls, you don't even like boys, how are you gonna rate him?" That, though, that's a recent discovery, Molly only told them she's a lesbian about three months ago. It went over well, which Gert was very happy with her parents for. Gert's own coming out story was a lot more of an Ordeal, more to do with everyone else than her family, but she's not going to think about that right now.

 

"I'll give you an unbiased opinion, okay?" Gert presses on Instagram, already turned to Chase's account, and selects a particularly good photo. "Hmm, okay, I'm not attracted to it, but I get it. He's built, and his face is acceptable. How royally did you embarrass yourself, again?"

 

She groans. "I said things that your young ears shouldn't be hearing for at least another two years."  
 

"Damn, that bad?"  
 

Gert nods, covering her face with her hands.

 

"Yes, that bad."

 

___________

 

**_Chat: gert wants chase to fuck her_ **

**_13/10/17_ **

 

**you're the one that i want (ooh ooh ooh): how do I fight a language**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: which one lol_ **

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): Spanish**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): only a month and a half into the school year and I've already gotten a Talking To from my teacher**

 

itsa me, mario: for the sake of your language credit I'm changing back the name of the chat

 

**_itsa me, mario_ ** _changed the chat name to **spooky spooky skeletons**_

 

**you're the one that i want (ooh ooh ooh): why is that going to help me not fail Spanish**

 

**prepare for trouble: because I speak five languages and Spanish? Is one of them**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: *jazz hands* I'm baaack**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: FINALLY_ **

 

princess bubblegum: YAY

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): oh thank god**

 

**you're the one that i want (ooh ooh ooh): also damn five languages?**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: ya lol Spanish English French Gaelic and sign language**

 

**you're the one that i want (ooh ooh ooh): WOW**

 

**you're the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): ok ok how do you wanna do this**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: I'm free rn if u wanna video call**

 

**you're the one that i want (ooh ooh ooh): sure**

 

__________

 

Chase gets set up with his textbook at his desk and presses call, trying not to feel nervous. This is the first time they’ve ever actually spoken to each other, and he doesn’t know how it’s gonna go.

 

Gert answers, and his tablet screen flips to her sitting at a desk in a wool sweater, smiling and saying, "Hey!"

 

"H-hi." Okay, what the fuck, she is so pretty. Like, he knew that she was pretty from photos, and everything, but this is just....................

 

"Okay, so what's your main struggle, conjugation, pronunciation- if you're laughing at my accent I will hang up, not joking." He snaps his mouth shut, because that was what he was laughing at, but not in a mean way, he was just surprised. Her voice is fantastic.

 

"I wasn't, um, I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at....." find something, quick! He spots something in her room and chooses it, because who wouldn't laugh a little at that? "I was laughing at the stuffed dinosaur on your bed. It's cute."

 

She scrunches up her nose. It's annoyingly adorable. "Yeah, I kind of never grew out of my paleontology phase. So, again, conjugation, pronunciation, something else? Come on, I need deets." _Deets._ He smiles lopsidedly, and she asks, "What?"

 

"Nothing, I'm just glad I get to talk to you, finally."

 

"Oh." Her cheeks go a little red. "Me too, Chase."

 

~~~~~

 

Okay, what the fuck, why is Chase so fucking attractive? This is so not fair.

 

They just look at each other for a second, then Chase clears his throat. "Okay, so, um, I mostly have trouble with pronunciation, my accent is really bad, apparently."

 

"Oh? Give me an example." His eyebrows go up, and she does a circular motion with her hand. "Like, say something in Spanish."

 

"Oh, yeah, okay. What do you want me to say?" She shrugs, and he nods. "Uh, _si el agua fuese belleza, tú serías el océano entero."_ She cracks up, head thrown back. Fuck, that was bad, both the words and his accent. He sounds unbearably British.

 

"Oh, wow, that was quite the pick up line." 'If water were beauty, you'd be a whole ocean'. _Damn_.

 

"It was the first thing I thought of!"

 

"Uh-huh, uh-huh, yep. Anyways, you have an a ridiculous accent."

 

He raises an eyebrow at her, teasing. "I thought you said it was cute?"

 

Her jaw drops, eyes wide. But then she recovers. "FUCK OFF!"

 

He starts cackling joyously, and it strikes her that he has a very nice laugh.

 

"Are you done being an asshole?" She crosses her arms, and gives him her best 'stop it right now' look that she's cultivated from seven years of being an older sister.

 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done. Sorry." he catches his breath, still smiling.

 

"Oh, yeah, you sound really apologetic. Anyways, the way a person who can speak other languages without a fucking horrid British accent tacked on would say that is _si el agua fuese belleza, tú serías el océano entero."_ She rolls the 'r' to piss him off, but he just blushes really red and looks away for a second. Huh.

 

"Oh, yeah, because the Irish accent is so eloquent and tasteful," she'd be pissed if he wasn't so clearly deflecting from how red his face is. "but I get what you mean. Now, the question is, how do I fix it?"

 

She spends the next hour coaching him through specific pronunciations that are really common, then tries really hard to get him to roll his 'r's, but he can't do it. He ends up with this weird gargly sound, and she can't stop herself from laughing at him.

 

"Hey, don't laugh at me!" Chase pouts, and she grins, wide.

 

"Sorry, I'm sorry." She looks behind him in the frame, and a very full shelf. "Woah, that is a lot of trophies."

 

"Yeah, I used to be a pretty good lacrosse player before........................" Even through the screen, she can tell that Chase is somewhere completely away from here, and it occurs to Chase that he doesn't know she knows.

 

"Karolina told us what happened, with the other players. Must be hard, to have your entire world crumble like that." Oh, that was a cruel way to say that, she's so bad at this.

 

"Well, yeah. But................they're bad people. Also, hearing the _crunch_ when I bashed Lucas's nose in was the most satisfying thing to ever happen to me." She smiles, and it's fond. She kind of wants to reach into the screen and give him a hug.

 

"I bet. Question, though, why is it that breaking someone's nose always feels so satisfying? I've done it- wait, is it three? Three times, and every time it's just like.......weirdly awesome." Chase was kind of looking at little downtrodden with the topic of conversation, so she's changing it to how fun hurting someone is! Yay, her.

 

"I know, right? Especially when they really deserve it. Wait, three times? Somebody's a junior criminal." He teases, wiggling his shoulders a little.

 

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, well, I don't think it counts as criminal activity when the victim has just a) slapped my ass while I was working b) said he wanted to, and I quote, 'fuck me against the table' while his wife and kids were literally at the counter ordering, and c) full on groped me. Men are..........................disgusting." She crosses her arms and screws up her face in discomfort.

 

"I'm sorry, that literally sucks ass. Glad they got their due, though." Wow, she was really expecting a 'not all men' thing right then.

 

"Yeah, me too. That second one was fun to watch, though, because after I hit him I told his wife what he'd said to me and she started fucking ripping into him and by the end of it she said she wanted a divorce." he cracks up, and unfortunately, she feels kind of proud of herself for getting a laugh out of him.

 

"Man, working in Dublin must be such a trip."  
 

"Yeah, it is- wait, have you been here or are you just basing that on stories?" She says 'here' even if she technically lives in one of the outer communities, and if you ask literally any townie they'll say it doesn't count, but it counts in her heart, okay?

 

"I've tagged along on a few of my dad's work trips. Fun, if a bit weird."

 

"Wow, thank you for that stunning review of my hometown."

 

"Oh, you wanna go there? But wasn't it you that said, and I quote, 'London is an absolute shithole chock full of elitists and people who think Good & Plenty's are a quality candy’?”

 

~~~~~

 

"Okay, you've got me." She smiles, a little lopsided, and her eyes twinkle. And then a thought runs through his head.

 

_I really wish I could kiss her right now._

 

Oh, no, that’s not good.

 

__________

 

**_Chase and Karo_ **

**_14/10/17_ **

 

**Chase: Karolina I am freaking the FUCK out**

 

Karo: dude isn't it super late there whats up

 

**Chase: it is super late**

**Chase: i've been up thinking about how i messed up I messed up real bad**

 

Karo: ????????????????????????

 

**Chase: so during the video call with Gert today we were talking and she was smiling all pretty and now I have this big elephant sized crush on her what do I do**

 

Karo: CALLED IT

 

Karo: LITERALLY A MONTH AGO I CALLED IT

 

**Chase: asshole**

 

**Chase: but seriously though what do I doooooooooooooooooooooo**

 

Karo: suffer

 

**Chase: why are u so mean to me all the time........................be kind**

 

Karo: ok ok if ur looking for real advice I'd say try to do more of those video calls? And when you're thinking of her, talk to her, even if its just messaging her privately

 

Karo: like, if you see something nice that reminds u of her take a picture and send it to her saying that this made u think about her

 

Karo: and try to get to know her better, like, what's her favourite colour, what's her opinion on superstitions (because oh boy does she have opinions) what's her sister like, her parents, her life at school and work, just make sure she knows you're interested in what's going on in her life

 

**Chase: that's annoyingly good advice Karo thank u**

  
__________

 

**_Chat: spooky spooky skeletons_ **

**_21/10/17_ **

 

_**prepare for trouble make it double** sent a video: **[Gert in a restaurant kitchen, hitting a slab of meat repeatedly with a mallet]**_

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: BEATING MY MEAT**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: OH MY GOD_ **

 

princess bubblegum: GERT ASDFGHJKL 

 

itsa me, mario: Gert Yorkes, taking every opportunity to make shitty jokes since 2000

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: fuck OFF that was quality**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): I can’t believe you guys just woke me up for a masturbation joke **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: IT IS**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: EIGHT O’CLOCK**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: U SHOULD NOT BE ASLEEP UNLESS UR SOMEONE’S GRANDFATHER**

 

itsa me, mario: u got something to tell us, Chase?

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): only that I had a very long, very awful day and I wanted it to end **

 

princess Bubblegum: :(((((

 

~~~~~

 

**_Gert + Chase_ **

**_21/10/17_ **

 

**Gert: u wanna talk about it?**

 

**Chase: yeah if u don’t mind **

 

**Gert: go ahead!!**

 

**Chase: so idk if u knew but my dad is a grade a piece of shit and he’s been on my ass to rejoin the lacrosse team even though I Told Him I don’t want to go back because they’re literally all ginormous douchebags but noooooo I have to ‘think about the opportunities, Chase, think about how much publicity you could get me if you played professionally, Chase’ (which isn’t what he says but it’s what he Means) (my dad runs a fancy pants tech company) so that was my whole day and then on top of that I got a really shitty mark on this English thing I thought I did well on but my teacher’s a really really hard grader AND my car broke down. So this is kind of My Worst Day ya know **

 

**Gert: Chase’s terrible no good very bad day**

 

**Chase: yep **

 

**Gert: that really sucks dude**

 

**Gert: if you want I’m pretty dece in English so I can help with that next time if you need it**

 

**Gert: and with ur dad…….just keep saying no, man. He can’t force you, you know?**

 

**Gert: and if he does, somehow, force you, play really really shitty and/or don’t show up and you’ll get kicked off again**

 

**Chase: yeah I’ll just fucking topple anytime I see a ball lol **

 

**Chase: and I would rlly like help **

 

**Chase: I’m not the greatest with languages even though I technically speak three lmao **

 

**Gert: Spanish, English, what’s the third?**

 

**Chase: French **

 

**Chase: it’s one of the only classes I actually like **

 

**Gert: oh I get that it’s a fun language**

 

**Gert: how long have you been speaking it?**

 

**Chase: uhhhh middle school? I think **

 

**Chase: how long have u been speaking it? **

 

**Gert: since I was six**

 

**Gert: my parents are scientists? And when they adopted me I already spoke English and Spanish so I guess they were like ‘ok how many other languages can we pile on’**

 

**Gert: but it comes in handy**

 

**Chase: how so? **

 

**Gert: just being able to talk to practically anyone is useful and I can watch movies/read books/listen to music in different languages 2 so that’s cool**

 

**Chase: is that something u like doing? Experiencing media in different languages? **

 

**Gert: ‘experiencing media’ oooh articulate**

 

**Gert: and yeah totally I mean why limit myself right?**

 

**Chase: right **

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter the second feat. an origin story (side note: how do you guys pronounce origin- oRIgin or oriGIN? let me know in the comments!)

**_Chat: spooky spooky skeletons_ **

**_23/10/17_ **

 

itsa me, mario: hey

 

itsa me, mario: hey guys

 

princess bubblegum: ??? What

 

itsa me, mario: Matty B Raps plays lacrosse

 

itsa me, mario: you know who also plays lacrosse?

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: AAHDGDJDXHS_ **

 

itsa me, mario: Chase

 

itsa me, mario: Chase also plays/played lacrosse

 

**prepare for trouble and make it double: oh this is a fucking revelation**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: this is mocking material for the ages**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): can you guys stop bullying me for one second please**

 

itsa me, mario: NEVER

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: NEVER**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: oh twinning**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: Karolina what’s Chase’s middle name I need it for his Matty B persona**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): KARO NOOOO**

 

princess bubblegum: ...............................archibald

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: ur kidding**

 

princess bubblegum: nope!

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): I hate both of you**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: nah you luuuurve me**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: ya chase don’t tell falsehoods we all know you’ve got a crush on her_ **

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): FUCK OFF!!!!**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: Wait**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: what**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): to stave off future embarrassment I’ll explain- I told nico I think ur pretty ONE TIME and she blew it out of proportion **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: you think I’m pretty?**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): I think you're gorgeous**

 

itsa me, mario: CAN YOU TWO GET A ROOM

 

itsa me, mario: OR AT LEAST A PRIVATE CHAT

 

itsa me, mario: like. We get it. You’ve got the hots for each other. But please stop subjecting me to it I’m too single and bitter

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: fuck off I don’t like chase**

 

princess bubblegum: But wasn’t it you who said you wanted to pork him hmmm i think it was

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: ‘pork’ asdfghjkl me and Gert r rubbing off on u_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: also I think it was too ur right karo_ **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: u guys suck @ chase back me up we’re not into each other right**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): right**

 

**_~~~~~_ **

 

**_Chase + Nico_ **

 

**_Nico: heaven doesn’t like liars_ **

 

**Chase: heaven doesn’t like busybodies either and yet here you are**

 

**_Nico: I’m not. A busybody._ **

 

**_Nico: I’m just trying to get you two together through questionable means_ **

 

**_Nico: I’m like a goth Cupid_ **

 

**Chase: if you say so**

 

~~~~~

 

Gert can’t sleep.

 

She’s laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and still thinking about how Chase called her gorgeous even though that happened three days ago. She should be thinking about Halloween in four days, not a cute boy thinking she’s pretty, but noooo, her brain is evil.

 

And, listen, okay, she does _not_ like Chase. She doesn’t and she can’t. They live eight hours apart, there is no way she’s letting herself catch feelings. Even if she can’t stop thinking about him, and his megawatt smile, and how kind and interesting he is- okay. She needs to stop now.

 

And possibly the worst part of this is that Chase's phone broke, so she can't even talk to him until he gets a new one, and it's like she's going through _withdrawal_.

 

Unexpectedly, her phone starts to ring. She picks it up without looking at the caller ID and speaks into it, yawning a, "Hello?"

 

_"Hey, Gert, I know it's sort of late, but will you settle something for me?"_ Chase? But....he doesn't have his phone. And his house doesn't have a landline. How is he calling her right now?

 

"Chase? How are you even calling me right now? Your phone got fucked, right? Did you get a new one?" She sits up in bed, turning on the light and rubbing at her eyes. Gert was like, _this close_ to dozing off when he called.

 

_"Wow, four questions in a row, that must be a record."_ God, she loves his voice. It's aggravating how much she aches to hear it, whenever she feels lonely, or whenever she needs someone to talk to. She always wishes for him, first.

 

Gert yawns again. "So what is it, then? Come on, Chase, it's too late at night for teasing." It's about eleven o'clock, but she can hear rain pounding on concrete from the other line. What is he doing out this late?  
 

_"Well, okay, me and Eli have been arguing nearly all day about this, and you're very smart, and probably know more about it then either of us, so I have a question for you."_ Gert wishes she could see him as he talks. She just _knows_ he's one of those people who wave their hands around as they speak.

 

"Okay, shoot."  
_  
"Is water wet?"_

 

~~~~~

 

Gert bursts out laughing, so loud and exuberant that he has to pull his ear away from Eli's phone for a second. He borrowed it to call her, which is probably more that a little desperate, but whatever.

 

He and Eli are standing under an awning at eleven o'clock at night, in the pouring rain, and they're probably going to get jumped soon, but he needs to know that he's right, okay?

 

"Okay, okay, come on." He says, interrupting her giggling. "What's your opinion?"  
  
_"No, it is not wet. It gets things wet, but it is not wet_. _"_ Oh, fuck yeah, Chase knew he was right.

 

"Okay, would you tell that to Eli? Here," he hands the phone to Eli, who's looking at him like, _dude, what are you doing?_ Because his cousin is an unsociable nerd who hates new people. Wait, that's not right. Second cousin.

 

_"Bonjour,_ the inimitable Gert Yorkes, how are you today?" Oh, God, why does he have to be so weird? And inimitable? Great, now she knows Chase talks about her all the time. Shit.

 

She's obviously responding to him, but Chase can't hear what she's saying, and dammit, he should not have handed the phone back to Eli, this was such a mistake, wait, why is he laughing? Eli never laughs.

 

"Yeah, okay, I get it now. You know, he's been talking about you all day, I think this was an excuse to call you-" Chase snatches the phone back from his _asshole_ relative, and Eli bursts out laughing.

 

"Eli, I hate you. I well and truly despise you." He puts the phone back to his ear and says, "Sorry, Eli is an asshole. Um, bye, I guess."

 

_"Okay? Oh, wait, Chase."_

 

"Yeah?"

 

_"How did you know my number?"_ Oh. Oh, shit. Okay, he doesn't want to lie, but he also doesn't want to embarrass himself, so how is he going to pull this? Eh, whatever, he'll tell the truth. Can't hurt, right?

 

"I kind of......memorized it." Ugh, why is he like this? He should've just said he wrote it down. No, that'd be worse. There really was no getting out of this one, was there?  
 

_"Oh." Oh?_ What does _that_ mean? _"Um, I have to go. To sleep. Goodnight?"_

 

He clears his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, Gert, goodnight. Sleep well."

 

~~~~~

 

**_Chat: spooky spooky skeletons_ **

**_31/10/17_ **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: HELLOOOOOOO**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS**

 

itsa me, mario: revenge day

 

**_itsa me, mario_ ** _sent a video_

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: NOOOOOO**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): is that u??? Why do you have scene bangs **

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): also is that I Put A Spell On You? From Hocus Pocus? I love that movie **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: yes that’s her_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: also the story behind this is she accidentally sent this vid of her at age 12 when she was a diet scene kid to this chat last year and we have NOT let her forget it_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: my one regret in life is that she got over it before she did the student exchange program_ **

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): explain**

 

itsa me, mario: OH THAT’S RIGHT YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OUR ORIGIN STORY

 

itsa me, mario: okay so

 

itsa me, mario: the year was 2014

 

itsa me, mario: I was still living in Toronto because my parents hadn’t made the shitty decision to move yet, me and Nico were best friends with a weird dating thing on the side that we don’t talk abt ever anymore

 

princess bubblegum: my mom was shooting a movie in Toronto for the year and I came with

 

itsa me, mario: yes yes and Gert had signed up for student exchange and lived with me for half the year which is why we’re even friends in the first place

 

itsa me, mario: Nico and Karo hit it off and so did Nico and Gert so the friend group was inevitable, really

 

itsa me, mario: and when everyone started splitting off we made the gc to keep in touch and the rest is history

 

itsa me, mario: also where is Gert she loves this story

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: she’s just sulking_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: @ Chase give her a compliment so she’ll come back and blushily thank you_ **

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): Gert if ur out there I really like your singing voice **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: cheers also FUCK OFF I DON’T BLUSH**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: lies and slander remember when we were FaceTiming_ **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH OF THAT BACK TO HALLOWEEN**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: me and Molly are going trick or treating and r probably going to egg Eiffel’s house again**

 

**you’re the one that I want (ooh ooh ooh): no I wanna hear this story **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: who is Eiffel, you ask?**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: a popular girl at my school who I was once friends with**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: our friendship ended when she outed me to the whole school when I told her I was bi**

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: and then I fucked off to Toronto for half the year!**

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: as much as I feel for you pls don’t distract from this story just bc you can’t admit ur a blusher_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: anyways we were FaceTiming yesterday and when u texted she turned bright red_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: like apple red_ **

 

**_marceline the vampire queen: made a simple vampire like myself pretty hungry_ **

 

**prepare for trouble make it double: you are not a real vampire**

 

itsa me, mario: you are not a real vampire

 

princess bubblegum: you are not a real vampire

 

~~~~~

 

**_Chase + Gert_ **

 

**Chase: god I just got back to the chat and I can’t believe that happened to you I’m so sorry **

 

**Gert: nah it’s. It’s fine. Sucked back then but it’s a little better now. Plus I’m gonna egg her house tonight so that’ll help me feel better**

 

**Chase: hand to god if I lived closer I would join you **

 

**Gert: <3 thank u **

 

~~~~~

 

Gert should probably care a bit more that she sent a kissy face to a boy who, according to Nico, likes her, and who she might like back, but she isn’t too bothered. For one, she’s got bigger, ten cartons of eggs shaped, fish to fry right now, and for two, it really isn’t that big of a deal. 

 

She’s got a cap pulled low over her face as her car cuts through the fog, pulls up to the curb and parks right in front of Eiffel’s house. She’s at a party right now, and Gert heard her bragging to her friends that her parents were out of town, so everything is panning out in Gert’s favour. 

 

“So, like, what do we _do?”_ Molly asks, twiddling with a piece of hair nervously.

 

Gert sighs. “Get out of car. Take eggs out of car. Open egg cartons. Throw eggs. Run away. Got it?” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, I just-“

 

Gert opens the door and grabs the egg cartons out of Molly’s lap, jumping out and slamming the door behind her. She sees Molly shake out her shoulders, and then suddenly she’s right next to her.

 

Molly does that sometimes. Gert hasn’t questioned her on it, because the one time she tried to ask why she literally shorts out of existence at times, Molly had no clue what she was talking about.

 

They throw eggs until they run out, and Gert can guarantee that revenge smells like raw eggs and fog.

 

~~~~~

 

**_frosty the snowman_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_01/11/17_ **

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: HELL YEAH CHANUKAH**

 

frosty the snowman: HELL YEAH CHRISTMAS

 

sugar plum fairy: it is. November first.

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: Karolina, thanksgiving is a garbage holiday. The pilgrims murdered Native Americans and turkey tastes like napkins**

 

**_Jack Skellington: don’t misquote B99 at me, young lady_ **

 

**_Jack Skellington: and what does that have to with anything anyways thanksgiving is long passed_ **

 

**_Jack Skellington: oh wait. I forgot Karo and Alex r American nvm_ **

 

frosty the snowman: OFFENSIVE I AM CANADIAN

 

frosty the snowman: OOOO CANADAAAA

 

**Sexy Santa: what did I just wake up to **

 

**Sexy Santa: also how did u guys change my name AGAIN **

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: I have the chat hacked in my favour srry Santa**

 

frosty the snowman: not to be horny on main but anyone else thinking abt sitting in Sexy Santa’s lap rn

 

sugar plum fairy: ‘not to be horny on main but-' should be ur yearbook quote

 

**Sexy Santa: am I the specific Sexy Santa in this situation **

 

frosty the snowman: nah there’s a hot guy at my work who dresses up for the holiday party every year

 

frosty the snowman: anyways that was more for Gert because I know she definitely is thinking about sitting in our resident Sexy Santa’s lap rn

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: die**

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: also I said that months ago let it go**

 

frosty the snowman: am I a blonde chick with ice powers? No? Then I’m not letting it go

 

**Sexy Santa: why would u be Emma Frost **

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: A MAN OF TASTE**

 

**Sexy Santa: why thank you **

 

**Sexy Santa: hey r u going to see Thor Ragnarok **

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: UH YES IM SO PUMPED I LOVE TAIKA WAITITI**

 

**Sexy Santa: ? Who?? **

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: Chase oh my god have you really never seen What We Do In The Shadows**

 

**Sexy Santa: ? Isn’t that a vampire movie or something **

 

**_Jack Skellington: #kickChaseoutofthechat2k17_ **

 

**Sexy Santa: WHAT WHY**

 

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: dw ur miseducation isn’t ur fault we’ll just Rabbit it what’s a good time for everybody**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dedicated to one of my best friends alessia!!! happy birthday babe!!!

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_08/11/17_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD GUYS GUYS GUYS**

sugarplum fairy: GERT WHAT IS IT

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: YOU KNOW HOW I GOT WAITLISTED FOR THE PARIS TRIP OVER THE HOLIDAYS**

**_Jack Skellington: NO WAY ARE YOU GOING NOW?????_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

frosty the snowman: HOLY SHIT THAT’S SO AWESOME IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: THANKS IM LITERALLY YELLING RIGHT NOW!!!!!**

**Sexy Santa: ok so**

**Sexy Santa: not to be a dumbass**

**Sexy Santa: but what the fuck is happening right now**

**Sexy Santa: don't get me wrong I'm very happy for you**

**Sexy Santa: this is just the first time I'm hearing abt this**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: OH**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: ok so**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: every year my school hosts trips for the seniors and they usually happen over school mandated holidays and I signed up for the Paris one because. Ya know. It's Paris. But then I got waitlisted and by that time it was too late to sign up for any of the other ones but NOW one of my classmates broke her leg so she can't go and I was at the top of the list SO GUESS WHOS GOING TO PARIS FROM DECEMBER 27th TO JANUARY 1st!!!!!!! THIS BITCH**

**Sexy Santa: That's so fucking cool I'm so happy for you!!!!**

**Sexy Santa: wait**

**Sexy Santa: December 27th?**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: ya why's that matter?**

**Sexy Santa: it's my birthday hbfdjkl**

**_Jack Skellington: :0 GUYS CHASE JUST USED A KEYSMASH_ **

**Sexy Santa: wym I keysmash all the time**

frosty the snowman: lies you do not

**Sexy Santa** _ sent a screenshot _

**Sexy Santa** _ sent a screenshot _

**Sexy Santa** _ sent a screenshot _

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: the real question is why do u just have those on hand**

**Sexy Santa: I like 2 b prepared**

**_Jack Skellington: lame_ **

sugarplum fairy: wait Chase

**Sexy Santa: ya**

sugarplum fairy: aren't u going to Paris next month

**Sexy Santa: shit am I**

frosty the snowman: how do u not remember whether or not you're going to a DIFFERENT COUNTRY

**Sexy Santa: I'm busy and my family's rich ok leave me alone**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: die capitalist**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: I'm bringing back a guillotine from my trip to France**

**Sexy Santa: yeah yeah yeah**

**Sexy Santa: ok I just texted my mom and. I'm gonna be in Paris for a week around New Year's**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: um holy shit**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: dm me pls**

frosty the snowman: y'all r really gonna plan out that one night stand aren't you

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: piss your pants Alex**

**_Jack Skellington: piss your pants Alex_ **

sugarplum fairy: piss your pants Alex

~~~~~

**_Chase + Gert_ **

**Gert: so**

**Chase: so**

**Gert: we are both going to be in Paris at the same time**

**Gert: and as a senior I'm going to have some sense of leeway when it comes to going places on my own**

**Gert: so the question is**

**Chase: not a question I absolutely want to meet up**

**Gert: ok then**

**Gert: that's**

**Gert: that's good**

**Chase: ...do you not want to? I understand if you don't I mean I'd be kind of upset but I'd get it**

**Gert: guilt trip much kjhfgjcxkl**

**Chase: NO THAT WASN'T WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO I JUST**

**Gert: don't worry babes ur good**

**Gert: and I do want to meet up**

**Gert: just kinda nervous ya know**

**Chase: yes of course because I'm secretly a 40 year old man right**

**Gert: HGJEVRFUCXJKL**

**Gert: idk just. Meeting u face to face is. Nerve wracking**

**Chase: I understand and like. Totally feel the same way but if I gave up the chance to meet you in person just because I was nervous I'd kick myself over it for the rest for my life**

**Gert: samesies**

**Chase: jrdbfjexkl**

**Chase: me: heartfelt sharing of my feelings**

**you: samesies**

**Gert: shut UP**

**Gert: anyway yeah I agree fdhjdfikl we'll come back to this when it's closer to it I guess? I'm still like. Freaking out over all of this what in the name of fuck is going on**

**Gert: somebody up there really loves me today huh**

**Chase: :^) ya guess so**

~~~~~

Gert is freaking the fuck out. Like, really really freaking out. Not only is she going to fucking  _ Paris _ next month, she's going to be meeting a friend of hers there??? Who she never thought she'd ever get to see face-to-face??? This is so wild??? Especially since this is the same friend that Gert has a ginormous fucking crush on. This is  _ insane _ , is what it is.

She's pacing a whole into the floor of her bedroom, trying to expel some of this nervous energy- then realizes this would be much better handled  _ outside _ . You know, where her antsiness  _ won't _ result in something getting knocked over and broken?

So she pulls on her boots and her thickest sweater, because the snow came early this year and Gert is  _ not _ catching a cold.

She heads out to the forest, knowing this is probably a bad idea but needing a way to clear her head. And if you're trying to steady your mind, Sullivan Forest is definitely the one for the job. Even if it is a little creepy.

Gert strolls down her favourite trail, taking in the snow covered branches and crunch of ice and dead leaves under her feet and trying to let it calm her mind. There's a noise behind her, like someone is following her, maybe, and Gert whips around. Nothing. Okay, maybe it's a lot creepy.

Now looking over her shoulder every few minutes, Gert makes her way down to the graveyard near Lucky's River. She doesn't really know why it's called that, it just Is. As far as she knows, it never had any other name.

She strides through the graveyard, carefully avoiding stepping on anyone's graves. Even if they've been dead and gone for three hundred years, it's still disrespectful, don't you think?

_ "Here lies Tootsie McLaren. Sweet as her name, gone too soon. 1685-1691," _ she reads, more mumbling than speaking clearly. "Oh, that's awful. I wonder what happened."

"She caught pneumonia, and her parents were poor," a voice says, and Gert nearly dies on the spot. Quivering, she turns around slowly, and-

"Jesus Christ, Molly, what did I say about sneaking up on me?!?"

Her sister gives her a sharp grin, hands deep in the pockets of her corduroy jacket as she leans back against a tree in that suave way Molly seems to have mastered. "Not to do it, because it creeps you out."

Gert rolls her eyes. "And yet here you are. How did you know that, anyway? About the girl."

Molly shrugs, but it seems like she's hiding something. "Must've heard it somewhere. Hey, we're going out to eat, are you coming?"

Gert starts back the way she came, not stopping and expecting Molly to follow. She does. "Of course I'm coming, who do you think I am?"

 

~~~~~

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_15/11/17_ **

**_Jack Skellington: Nick Dunne needs to die_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: oh rt**

sugarplum fairy: also rt

**Sexy Santa: whos Nick Dunne? Who do I have to fight**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: jshdsfxcjkl honey sometimes I envy ur obliviousness**

**Sexy Santa: we love a backhanded compliment**

**Sexy Santa: whos Nick Dunne**

**_Jack Skellington: a bitch_ **

sugarplum fairy: a character from a movie called Gone Girl

sugarplum fairy: ...and also a bitch

**Sexy Santa: ah**

**Sexy Santa: should I watch this movie**

frosty the snowman: no

frosty the snowman: it'll fuck you up man trust me

**_Jack Skellington: coincidentally, Alex is also a bitch_ **

frosty the snowman: RUDE

**_Jack Skellington: NOT IF IT'S TRUE YOU NANCY MEYERS LOVING THOT_ **

frosty the snowman: and what about it?

sugarplum fairy: guys.

sugarplum fairy: not again

sugarplum fairy: please

**Sexy Santa: whos Nancy Meyers**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: oh u r such a dumbass**

**Sexy Santa: I WAS JUST ASKING A QUESTION ASSHOLE**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: <3**

**Sexy Santa: ........... <3**

frosty the snowman: I CANT BELIEVE YOUVE NEVER HEARD OF NANCY MEYERS

frosty the snowman: I TALK ABOUT HER MOVIES ALL THE TIME??? SHES MY MOTHER WHO BIRTHED ME

**Sexy Santa: I thot ur mom was a lawyer**

frosty the snowman: I despise u

**Sexy Santa: WHAT DID I DO**

frosty the snowman: breathe

**_Jack Skellington: the real question is how Alex's mom was somehow replaced by a white lady all of a sudden_ **

frosty the snowman: literally die

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: I'll miss Catherine she was a MILF :''(**

frosty the snowman: not again. I can't go through this again

**_Jack Skellington: pour one out for the hottest MILF of our generation_ **

frosty the snowman: the deep web hitman is on his way to ur house now say goodbye to ur family and pets

frosty the snowman: they won't miss u

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: if they're deep web how do u know they're a dude**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: sexist**

frosty the snowman: go die

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: gender assumption AND death threats against a woman? And a Jewish Latina woman no less? Alex, I'm disappointed**

frosty the snowman: ok bye I'm muting y'all

**_Jack Skellington: bye bitch we won't miss u_ **

**Sexy Santa: r we bullies**

**Sexy Santa: I feel like we're bullies**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: maybe so**

~~~~~

**_Gert + Chase_ **

**_19/11/17_ **

**Gert: hhh I can't sleep. At all. Come save me, British sandman**

**Chase: is British sandman my new nickname**

**Chase: not sure I like this one all that much**

**Gert: oh boo hoo**

**Gert: at least I've stopped with the Queen E jokes**

**Chase: Gert that is such bullshit. Yesterday you asked me how the corgis were getting along and whether or not I thought your new hat was noble-worthy**

**Gert: and you said that it was so ;3**

**Chase: I mean**

**Chase: it was quite a nice hat**

**Chase: you looked as good in it as you do everything**

**Gert: HDBCIWHSD SHUT UP**

**Gert: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT**

**Chase: I mean**

**Chase: I can**

**Chase: there's no law against it I don't think**

**Gert: YES THERE IS**

**Gert: IT'S CALLED THE 'IT'S TOO LATE IN THE NIGHT TO MAKE ME BLUSH' LAW**

**Gert: AND YOU BROKE IT**

**Gert: GET READY FOR JAIL**

**Chase: so I made u blush, huh**

**Gert: 911 TAKE THIS MAN TO PRISON**

**Chase: ;P**

**Gert: >:/**

~~~~~

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_21/11/17_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: hey Alex**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: hey Alex**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: hey Alex hey Alex hey Alex**

frosty the snowman: oh my god what

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: ur back!!! Missed u**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: and I need Help**

frosty the snowman: lies you did NOT miss me

frosty the snowman: that's bullshit

frosty the snowman: and what's up

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: i did miss you and also: how do I calculate mass in physics**

frosty the snowman: volume x density it's in the triangle

sugarplum fairy: .....triangle? What are we talking about

**_Jack Skellington: babe ily but. Ur better off staying out of this one_ **

sugarplum fairy: when she calls you babe: <333

When she also indirectly calls you stupid: >>>:O

**_Jack Skellington: oh come on u know I luv u_ **

sugarplum fairy: do I? Do I know that?

**Sexy Santa: get a room**

**_Jack Skellington: I'll be gay on main all I want straightie_ **

~~~~~

Chase heaves a sigh, though Nico- or anyone else, for that matter- can hear him. He's kind of sick of being referred to as 'the straight friend', because he's not!! He's not straight!! He knows that now- even if it's still hard to accept, sometimes. But being friends with them, and talking to other LGBT people on the daily, has made it easier for him. And maybe...it'd be good to start telling people. And what better place to start than the friends that made him feel like being bisexual wasn't a bad thing in the first place?

~~~~~

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_21/11/17_ **

**Sexy Santa: hey um**

**Sexy Santa: can we talk about that actually**

**_Jack Skellington: abt what_ **

**Sexy Santa: um**

**Sexy Santa: the 'straight' thing**

**Sexy Santa: so um. I've been in the closet for a long time now and Still Am irl and as long as I can remember I felt??? Really guilty??? About being the way I am but now that I've been friends with you guys it's been a lot easier to accept myself so here goes: I'm bisexual**

sugarplum fairy: <333

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: thank u for trusting us!! We luv u!!!**

**_Jack Skellington: ^^^ you're awesome every way that you are. Thank you for sharing this part of you with us!_ **

frosty the snowman: <333 we support u man

**Sexy Santa: fuck I love you guys**

**Sexy Santa: anywhoozles. Enough of that**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: can only handle so much sap huh hjdfhk**

**Sexy Santa: yep or I'll start crying so uhhhh anybody seeing Coco tmr**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: YES**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: me and Mols are going to the midnight showing**

**_Jack Skellington: dedication_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: u know it babe**

~~~~~

It's late. It's late, and Gert shouldn't be calling him right now. Chase has lots of other things to worry about, and Gert shouldn't be bothering him. Especially since all this is going to do is make her big stinking crush on him stronger.

But she's still calling him.

_ "Hello?"  _ Chase asks as he picks up, voice gruff from sleep.

"Did I wake you?" Gert asks softly. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. I can call back-"

_ "No, no, it's fine."  _ He groans a little, and she hears shifting, as if he's sitting up in bed.  _ "What's wrong?" _

She hesitates, unsure. This is dumb. This is dumb, and-  _ "Gert?" _

"Sorry, sorry, I just...I can't sleep. And...and you're the only one I wanted to talk to." She's becoming disgustingly dependent on Chase. It's not good. Gert should  _ not _ like him this much- actually, she  _ can't _ . They live eight hours apart, so, she can't. She can't. (Doesn't mean Gert doesn't want to, though).

_ "O-oh. I'm- I'm glad you thought of me. Thank you. For that. Um." _

Gert lets out a small giggle. "Did you just thank me?"

_ "If I say yes, will you make fun of me?" _

"Absolutely 100%."

_ "Alright, then."  _ There's a pause, like he's coming up with something to say.  _ "So, uh...any particular reason you can't sleep? Is something worrying you?" _

Gert sighs. "Yes and no. I mean, objectively, things should be going decent, right? My job at the diner is...fine, I'm feeling mostly prepared for midterms, everything is great. Sorta. I guess. It just feels like..."

_ "Something's missing?" _

"Yeah. That. I think it's just me not having a lot of friends, here, you know? And the friends I do have aren't close. God, I can't wait for that road trip this summer."

_ "Ah. The road trip."  _ Chase seems a little uncomfortable all of a sudden, and Gert wonders why until she realizes what it must be.

"Oh, my God, did we really never formally invite you?"

_ "I'm invited?" _ He asks, instantly more cheerful.

"Of course! Of  _ course _ you are. As long as you want to, I mean. And can pay, but I don't think that'll be a problem for Mr. Private School."

Chase huffs a laugh. _ "No, no, it wouldn't be. So, I'm going? I'm really invited?" _

"Yes! Yes, you're invited. We haven't planned everything out to a T, though, so don't worry about messing up anything. Jesus, I really thought we'd talked about this before." Hm. Shit brain strikes again, it seems.

_ "Nope, but I'm glad we're talking about it now. I didn't want to intrude, or whatever, but-" _

"You're invited. As long as you want to go, you're invited." Now, you may wonder why she's not asking the rest of their friends if he's allowed. The answer is this: Gert doesn't care if they get mad, and doesn't think they will, anyways.

_ "Awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome." _

And then there's a comfortable sort of silence, the type where they're just listening to each other breathe. Gert ends up falling asleep a little while later, calmed by the sound of Chase's steady breathing,  _ in and out and in and out and in and out.... _

~~~~~

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_01/12/17_ **

frosty the snowman: ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

frosty the snowman: A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE

frosty the snowman: ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME

frosty the snowman: TWO TURTLE DOVES

**_Jack Skellington: shuuuut theeee fuuuuck uuuup_ **

sugarplum fairy: what even is a turtle dove

sugarplum fairy: they sound made up

**Sexy Santa: they're the only migratory pigeon/dove in the region and they're the smallest native pigeon too- less than half the weight of a wood pigeon**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: how the fuck do you know that**

**Sexy Santa: they're British**

frosty the snowman: of course they are

frosty the snowman: great that song is ruined for me now

**Sexy Santa: oh bugger off u can't hate Britain THAT much**

frosty the snowman: colonization and slavery are both real things that happened and affected my ancestors and still affect me to this day so! Maybe shut the fuck up

**Sexy Santa: okay that's fair I'm sorry**

frosty the snowman: thank u

frosty the snowman: still waiting for those reparations tho

**Sexy Santa: just in general or from Me, Specifically**

frosty the snowman: eh

frosty the snowman: both sound nice but neither are likely

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: oh so true**

**Sexy Santa: bet**

frosty the snowman: wait what does that mean

frosty the snowman: CHASE???? DID YOU JUST PAYPAL ME 30 BUCKS???

**Sexy Santa: yeah**

**_Jack Skellington: SKSKSKSKSKS??????_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: OH MY GOD??????**

sugarplum fairy: YOU'RE KIDDING THATS SO-

frosty the snowman: I'm fucking screeching what an ally

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: fuck a Chris Evans or a Debra Messing I only know Chase Archibald Stein**

frosty the snowman: putting my Paypal in my twitter bio is officially the best decision I've ever made time to go buy my weight in McDonalds

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: doesn't Rotten Ronnie's make u sick tho why not get something like. Good for you**

frosty the snowman: Gert if you think I eat anything other than hot Cheetos and takeout then you don't know me at all

sugarplum fairy: no but like. Mcdonalds? Really?

frosty the snowman: shut up vegan ur not guilting me into buying kale or some shit

sugarplum fairy: kale is good tho!!!

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: Karolina....please....**

sugarplum fairy: :^( it's good!!!

sugarplum fairy: also if you can afford it veganism is a very fulfilling life style. Once I stopped eating meat and took dairy out my diet I felt so much better on the daily u don't even know

**Sexy Santa: ok Karolina I. Don't disagree abt dairy but I physically could not survive without Double Skewers from Nando's**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: N**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: Nando's**

**Sexy Santa: bugger off it's good**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: uh-huh sure also: how do u not eat dairy?? It's?? The greatest??**

frosty the snowman: Gert aren't u like. Majorly lactose intolerant?

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: AND???**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: WOULD YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO SURVIVE WITHOUT CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKES??**

frosty the snowman: IF IT KEEPS YOU FROM PUKING YOUR GUTS OUT THEN YES

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: THAT'S A PRICE I’M WILLING TO FUCKING PAY BITCH YOU DON'T KNOW STRUGGLE YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN**

frosty the snowman: completely untrue

frosty the snowman: I dated Nico during her ninth grade rawr XD emo phase

**_Jack Skellington: GO DIE_ **

frosty the snowman: what did I do

**_Jack Skellington: IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU DID IT'S SOMETHING YOUR MOTHER DID WHEN SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU_ **

frosty the snowman: oof harsh

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: 'phase' as if she ever grew out of it**

sugarplum fairy: can y'all stop bullying the girl with the ability to hack into your college funds it's making me nervous

**_Jack Skellington: thank you, Karolina. The rest of you: drop dead_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: aw love u too baby**

**_Jack Skellington: fuck OFF also ur a hypocrite bc I know for a fact that you had a Supernatural phase_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: a what?? A whom?? Idk her**

sugarplum fairy: ok Mariah

sugarplum fairy: just remember I have photographic evidence of u in ur Carry On My Wayward Son t-shirt

frosty the snowman: Mariah the skinny legend vs. The Ultimate Horse Girl: who will win

sugarplum fairy: I'm almost offended that u think I'm a horse girl

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: ur blonde and white it comes with the packaging**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: also u just have that energy**

**Sexy Santa: what's my energy**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: hmm more of dnd thing but Chaotic Good Jock**

**_Jack Skellington: u stole my joke I said that before_ **

**_Jack Skellington: rmbr when I said he was our group's Channing Tatum_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: oh rite sowwy**

frosty the snowman: Nico's really goin thru it today huh

**_Jack Skellington: Alex u have gangrene of the soul_ **

~~~~~

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_13/12/17_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: if I pleaded for death do you think anyone would answer**

**Sexy Santa: what's going on? Are you okay?**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: oh yeah I'm fine**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: except that I just found out who I'm rooming with for the Paris trip**

**_Jack Skellington: oh shit don't say it_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: well I don't WANT to say it but unfortunately it's the truth so**

frosty the snowman: wait wait wait back up three steps im confused

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: my FUCKING roommate for the FUCKING Paris trip is FUCKING EIFFEL**

frosty the snowman: ah

frosty the snowman: I want to make a joke about this being karma but u know what I'll abstain for fear of getting my balls kicked in next time we see each other

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: smart!**

sugarplum fairy: aw babe

sugarplum fairy: that sucks I'm sorry

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: nah it's. It's fine. I guess.**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: mostly I'm just wondering where fucking Chase went I miss that hoe**

**Sexy Santa: sorry**

**Sexy Santa: I was Out and I wanted to call you so I was driving home**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: fjfsdcjkl why didn't u just call me from the car**

**Sexy Santa: bc then I wouldn't be fully focused on what you had to say. Anyway can I call u or**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: no yeah go ahead**

~~~~~

As soon as Chase picks up the phone, Gert starts ranting.  _ "So, as you know, I just found out today that the girl who I'm replacing is Eiffel's fucking roommate, which means that I'm going to be sleeping in that same room as that fucking dickhead for a whole fucking week, can you fucking believe that? My only saviour is that bitch is the most gullible person in school, so if I really want to fuck with her I can. Oh, do you think I could trick her into thinking the room is haunted? Oh, that would be bloody brilliant, wouldn't it, now, how would I go about that..." _

Trying not to laugh at her overuse of cuss words, Chase says seriously, "Fake blood, a mirror to write messages on in said fake blood, and a lot of creativity. Hi, by the way. How are you feeling? How was your day? Did you eat breakfast this morning?"

Gert laughs at his polite chatter, knowing he's doing it just for that express purpose.  _ "Uh, I'm feeling woebegone, it was right shit, and yes, if Skittles count." _

Chase huffs a laugh. They do this sometimes, and every time he asks how she's feeling, Gert comes up with the longest word she can think of. He'll have to buy a dictionary soon just to understand what she's saying. "They don't. Also, I don't know what woebegone means."

Gert clears her throat.  _ "Woebegone: sad or miserable in appearance. Synonyms: unhappy, forlorn, glum. Antonyms: cheerful." _

"Ah. It's kind of fucked that there's so many negative words and so little positive words, innit?"

_ "'Innit'. You sound like an arsehole. But yes, I agree, it's fucked." _

Chase pouts, though she can't see him. "Hey, don't get on me for my language, you just said 'fuck' about forty times in one go."

_ "Oi, fuck off, Lizzie."  _ Oh, not this again. Chase hates all these dumb Queen Elizabeth based nicknames. He's not  _ that _ posh, is he?

He groans. "Really? A Queen E joke?"

_ "You got it, babe." _

_ Babe. _ Jesus fucking Christ almighty. Chase makes a pathetic choking sound, caught off guard.

_ "Sorry! Sorry, um, that's just- that's just how I refer to people. I guess. Um. I'mgonnagonowbye!" _

And then she hangs up. Alright, then.

~~~~~

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_17/12/17_ **

sugarplum fairy: hughdkl i kove yu guysssss

sugarplum fairy: I camt wsit to see yuo

sugarplum fairy: thjs sumner os gonna b litty

**Sexy Santa: l**

**Sexy Santa: litty?**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: oh jeez you are So Drunk**

frosty the snowman: unfortunately I'm pretty sure 'litty' is just something Karolina says on the daily

**_Jack Skellington: as someone who talks to her every day you would be correct_ **

sugarplum fairy: NICO!!!!!!! HI NICVO!!!!!!

**_Jack Skellington: hey Karrie_ **

**_Jack Skellington: how much have you drank_ **

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: Oh! Oh! I can answer this one!**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: a lot**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: she's drank a lot**

sugarplum fairy: thas mean!!!

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: but fair**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: it's how I work, babe**

sugarplum fairy: :((((((((

**_Jack Skellington: Karrie go get some water_ **

sugarplum fairy: NO

**_Jack Skellington: Karolina don't make me come over there_ **

sugarplum fairy: WOULD YUO???? :O

**Sexy Santa: bcjekl Nico you live in another country**

**_Jack Skellington: and?_ **

sugarplum fairy: :OOOOO

frosty the snowman: stop it neeks karolina thinks ur serious

sugarplum fairy: she isn't???

sugarplum fairy: >:( I feel lied to

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: karolina your parents are actors their entire job is to lie every day**

**Sexy Santa: ouch**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: too harsh?**

**Sexy Santa: a little, yeah**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: oops sorry**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: I'm Stressed**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: Midterms just finished out and getting ready for Paris is...a lot**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: i mean I'm excited!! Like SO excited**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: I've just like. Never really been out of the country before not to mention that I'm gonna be without my parents**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: plus Eiffel being my roommate which I can already tell is gonna be gross**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: ...and I'm nervous to see u. So.**

**Sexy Santa: don't be**

**Sexy Santa: I'm a big softie**

**Sexy Santa: and I think with this it's about the mindset. If you get on that plane bracing for disaster you are likely to encounter one**

**Sexy Santa: but if you try to stay positive...you see where I'm going with this**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: Yes. That things will still be disastrous but it'll hit me harder because I wasn't expecting it**

**Sexy Santa: Gert obviously that's not what I meant**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: :////**

**Sexy Santa: none of that**

**Sexy Santa: seriously tho, everything's gonna be fine**

**Sexy Santa: and don't be worried abt me. We've already planned everything out right so like. We good**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: yeah. That.**

~~~~~

Gert cannot believe this is happening. She's in  _ Paris _ . Paris,  _ France _ .

God, this is amazing. They've only just left the airport, and they just boarded the bus that will take them to the hotel. It seem they're taking the scenic route, based on how many landmarks they've passed, and this is literally insane. She's on, like, overload.

The bus passes the Eiffel tower, and everyone clambers to the window. Well, mostly everyone. Eiffel, who is unfortunately sat next to her ( _ 'everyone please sit with your roommates for efficiency')  _ just checks her nails haughtily. Gert considers making a joke about her name, but Brian, a freckly, big eared kid sitting in front of them, beats her to it.

"Aw, Eiffel, don't you want to see your namesake?" He teases, and Gert, eyes still on the tower, snorts. The glare Eiffel is giving her, so strong that Gert swears her eyes are boring into her skull, says that she'll pay for that later.

"Aw, Bri," she says in that annoyingly posh British accent of hers, earned from years of private school in London before her father was demoted, "Don't you think that joke is a little,  _ como se dice _ , tired?"

Gert can't help but crack up. Is this the new trend, now? "Fuck, your Spanish is awful. Good try, though."

Eiffel glares at her, and Gert and Brian share a triumphant look. She doesn't know him all that well, but nothing is more of a bonding moment than roasting someone together.

They arrive at the hotel, and Gert all but snatches the room key from the supervisor, jumping in the elevator as fast as she can. Unfortunately, Eiffel is right behind her, but small losses, right?

They head up to the room, and, woah, that is a  _ view _ . They even have a balcony, this is  _ great _ .

Gert flops down on her bed beside the window, relishing in the fluffiness of the mattress. Eiffel, on the other hand, sits down gingerly on the bed, setting down her expensive looking purse gently.

Trying to be civil, Gert turns her excited grin on Eiffel. "Isn't this great?"

Eiffel shrugs, not looking up from her phone. "My  _ Grandmaman _ lives here. I've seen much better than this dingy hotel room."

She makes a (still gorgeous) disgusted face at their accommodations, which is just wild to Gert, seeing as this is the nicest place she's ever stayed in her life.

"...Okay then. Um, we have a few free hours now, right? I think I'm gonna go check out the sights."

She stands, adjusting her clothes, and Eiffel looks her up and down, sceptical. "In that?"

Gert frowns. What's wrong with the clothes she's wearing?  She thought her corduroy sheepskin jacket looked quite nice with her simple Henley-jeans-Dockers combo. "Um, yes?"

Eiffel rolls her eyes in that bitchy way of hers, then goes back to looking at her phone. Gert forces herself not to get angry, then heads out the door. Surprisingly, as she reaches the elevators, Eiffel catches up to her, looking as beautiful and unapproachable as always.

She doesn't give an explanation as they step into the elevator together, and Gert doesn't ask for one.

They leave the hotel, splitting off but still staying in the relatively small area, as their teacher's rules demand. Their hotel is hidden away in a tiny corner of the Arts district, at the edge of a plaza of sorts. There's lots of her other classmates around, too, some in shops or cafes and some just looping around the huge fountain smack dab in the middle, arm in arm.

As she wonders where to start, her phone starts to ring, a tinny version of  _ God Save The Queen  _ blaring from her coat pocket. As she pulls it out and answers, she gets more than a few glares from surrounding tourists.

"Chase?" She asks. "What's up?"

They'd talked this morning before she got on the plane, both so she could wish him a happy birthday and so they could cement their plans for tomorrow. Unfortunately, Chase's whole day is planned out to be on the other side of town, so they had to wait. Gert is extremely excited for tomorrow, though. They're gonna have so much fun- her school group is spending the whole day at the Louvre tomorrow, and after the guided tour, they have, like, four hours to explore on their own. Gert and Chase agreed that that would be the ideal time to meet- in public, with an activity so there was no awkward pauses. Neither of them, like, said that, but it's clear that that's the reason.

Gert has this huge worry that, the moment they meet each other face to face, Chase will hate her guts. She's hoping he won't, but there's always that possibility...

~~~~~

"Hey, Gert! I was just checking in, to see how you were doing. What are you at now?"

This, of course, is a stupid question, because Chase knows exactly what she's doing, where she's standing, and even what she's wearing- because he's standing right behind her.

Well, not  _ right _ behind her. He's probably a good twenty, thirty feet away. But he can see Gert so clearly, her head of vibrant purple hair acting as a very convenient spotlight. All Chase wants to do- and all he's wanted to do since he begged his mother for a few free hours this morning- is run to her and engulf

her in a hug.

But he wants to play this game first.

_ "Oh, you know, we just got in and settled, so we've been given a few hours to bounce around the plaza, get out some of this nervous energy. How about you? You enjoying yourself?" _

_ Very much so, yes. _ "Eh, I guess. Mum is held up in a jewelry shop, so I'm just strolling around while I wait- oh, wow." See, this is the scripted part. Chase knows how curious Gert is, and he can already tell she's hooked.

_ "What? What is it?" _

Chase smirks, starting to make his way over to her. "Oh, there's just this  _ really _ gorgeous girl on the other side of the street. Hey, do you think I should go talk to her?"

He sees her shoulders drop from his spot about twelve feet away.  _ "Uh, I guess." _

"Hey, Gert?" Chase asks, stopping seven feet away from her.

_ "What?" _

"Turn around."

~~~~~

Gert does as Chase asks, a little confused, and- holy shit. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

He's here.

Before she can even think about what she's doing, Gert sprints towards him, crashing into him with a hug. She hits Chase with such force that he almost topples over, but he saves it by picking her up, hooking his arms under her legs and spinning her around. They're both laughing joyously, and, God, Gert has never felt more glad to hug somebody.

Chase stops spinning, but he doesn't put her down, like he doesn't want to let go. Gert doesn't want to, either, if she's being honest.

She pulls back to look at him properly, cupping his face in her hands. Chase is so much more handsome in person. "You're here!"

"I am!" God, his  _ voice _ . "I begged Mum for some free time today so I could come and see you."

Gert scrunches up her nose at him, trying to seem peeved but getting foiled by the giant grin she's wearing. "You tricked me! You said-"

 

"I know what I said. I wanted it to be a surprise."

Gert laughs. "Well, it was certainly that, all right."

For a moment, they just look at each other, both trying to take the other in. She never noticed those shots of gold in his eyes before, they're quite striking. And, God, he's so  _ strong _ . His biceps are the size of her fucking scull, what the hell?

Speaking of that, he's still holding her, and it occurs to Gert that this is quite the scandalous position to be in. Blushing, she clears her throat and says, "Um, you can put me down, now."

 

Seeming surprised, like she's shaken him out of a daydream, Chase does so, setting her back down on the ground as gently as possible.

Gert looks him up and down more properly this time, giving a low whistle. "Jesus, you are a fucking  _ tank." _

Jokingly, he flexes, doing his very best Hercules impression, and she throws her head back in a laugh. When Gert looks back to him, he's grinning proudly, like making her laugh is a prized achievement.

She's about to say something, anything, when a snooty British accent asks, "Hey, Gertie! Who's this?"

It's so fake nice and annoying that Gert knows who it is before she even turns around. Eiffel is standing behind her, looking as perfect as always with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her pink peacoat. She's wearing a floppy white hat with a huge pompom, too, and she's somehow making it look chic instead of childish.

Chase gives her a look, asking quietly, "Eiffel?"

"Yep," Gert whispers back, then puts on a fake smile to say, "This is my friend from London, Eiffel. Also, don't call me Gertie."

Maybe it's just for appearances, maybe it's because he sees that she's uncomfortable, but Chase steps closer and wraps an arm around Gert's waist.

Eiffel looks between the two of them, a little surprised with either how this might look or that Chase didn't introduce himself. "Well, then, Gert's friend from London, I'm Eiffel."

She sticks out a hand to shake, and Chase reluctantly takes it, letting go as quickly as possible. _ Good boy.  _ "Chase. Uh, it was nice meeting you, but we better-"

"Wait! Wait, don't go yet," Eiffel says in a flirty tone. "We've only just met, it's impolite!"

"Eiffel, what's impolite is you barging into a conversation you weren't invited to. Good day," Gert says, then steers the both of them away from Eiffel before she can get over the shock and, like, tear Gert's hair out.

Once they're out of earshot, Chase cracks up.  _ "Good day,"  _ he says, his face scrunched up from laughing. Somehow, it makes him even  _ more _ handsome. "God, you're- you're the best. I am  _ so happy _ to see you."

Gert leans into him a little, pretending it's just because she's cold and not because...well. If Gert thought it was hard to get over him  _ before,  _ then now it's impossible. "I'm really happy to see you, too."

And then they just...grin at each other. Chase's smile is so bright and toothy, fuck, he is so  _ attractive _ . Like, how is she supposed to survive this?

Seeming to realize that they can't just stare at each other for the next few hours, Chase shakes himself a little, clearing his throat. "So! So, how was your flight?"

Gert shrugs. "It was fine. Getting up this morning was a pain, though, especially since Molly roped me into beating her at Queens last night, so I had to stay up late packing."

His brow furrows. "Queens?"

"Card game. It's friggin' killer." Jokingly, she gives him the up-down. "You'd probably suck at it, though."

"Offensive! I'm great at cards!" Gert tilts her head at him, sceptical, and Chase sighs. "Fine, I suck. You'd whoop me into next week. Happy?"

"Very."

They walk around a little while longer, until passing a pastry shop that smells so divine that Gert just has to go in.

She drags him by the hand to the door, throwing it open and stepping inside, pulling Chase along with her. Gert takes a deep gulp of air, breathing in the smell of fresh bread and sweet pastry. "It smells  _ so _ good in here."

"Yeah, and it's warm, too. Jesus, I don't think I've been fully warm since November." He runs his gloved hands up the sides of his arms, enjoying the toasty temperature.

They get in the short line, and when they reach the counter, Gert, wondering what the staff's opinion is, asks the young employee, _ "Que recommandez-vous?" _

The employee grins.  _ "Notre pain, cuire ici, sont tres populaire."  _ Bread? Alright, then.

She orders a slice for herself, topped with marmalade they make at the shop, and crunchy peanut butter. Chase orders the same, except with smooth peanut butter and raspberry jam, then, when he sees her pulling out her wallet, says, "Don't worry, I got it."

"What? No, it's-"

 

"Nope. I'm paying." Before she can argue, Chase also orders two drinks -vanilla chai latte for him, a gingerbread white hot chocolate for her. It's her favourite drink, but Gert has barely mentioned it to him, and the fact that he remembers shocks her into silence for long enough that he can pay without her arguing.

Chase starts guiding her to a table, and Gert springs back to life. "I wanted to pay!" He shrugs, and Gert scrunches up her nose at him. "You should've let me pay."

They sit down, Chase smirking like he pulled one over her as they do. Gert kind of wants to smack it off of him. Then again, she'd much rather kiss it off, but that's never going to happen, so.

Gert takes a big bite of her slice of warm bread, moaning a little and slumping back in her chair at how good it is. She swallows, then says, "Fuck, that's good."

She looks back at Chase, and, woah, his face is really, really red. Gert raises an eyebrow at him. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh," he says, but it comes out a little squeaky. "I'm fine."

Gert gives him a weird look, then decides to change the topic for his sake. "I can't believe you like smooth peanut butter over crunchy."

He takes a bites of his own, then says, hand over his mouth as he talk-chews, "What's wrong with smooth?"

"Smooth peanut butter is for small children and my grandmother." Chase screws his mouth up at her, mildly offended. Unfortunately, it's adorable.

"Well, I am neither a toddler or a geriatric, and I like it just fine, so what does that make me?"

Gert tilts her head at him, considering. "Hmm, an alien. Definitely."

Chase throws his head back in a laugh, exposing the smooth, porcelain column of his neck.  _ God. _ "Okay, okay, but," he says jokingly, "If anyone out of our friend group is an alien, it is 100% Karolina."

Gert snorts. "Oh, absolutely. That girl is supernatural in one way or another, I'd bet my hide on it."

"Speaking of the supernatural," Chase says, waggling his eyebrows, "how's your sister?"

Gert pauses for a second, caught off guard. She forgot she told him about Molly's.....Mollyness. Not in detail, but enough that he could understand. If she told him in detail, Gert is pretty sure he would run away screaming. "Um, first of all, she's not  _ supernatural,  _ just...uh...supernatural  _ leaning _ . And she's fine. I think. She was sad to see me go, though. Acted really worried, like she thought something would happen to me."

It was a little scary, actually. Gert hasn't stopped looking over her shoulder since she left the airport. Her little sister has historically Known Her Shit when it came to that stuff, and Gert isn't taking any chances.

Chase shrugs. "That's just how younger siblings are. I don't have any myself, but I have a few younger cousins, and they were all worried for me when I left yesterday. It was really cute."

_ Chase with kids Chase with kids Chase with kids-  _ "Oh? What are they like?"

Chase whips out his phone, tapping on his photos and scrolling to a slightly blurry picture of him on a leather couch, two little kids climbing all over him. The kids are adorable, curly headed and chubby cheeked, but the real star of the show is Chase's toothy smile.

He points to the girl in the photo, saying, "That's Lulu. She's six, and the most excitable child this side of the pond." Pointing to the other kid in the photo, he says, "And that's Charlie. He's four, and so, so smart. Always has a book in his hands- and taught himself how to read, which I think is crazy amazing."

It's clear how much Chase loves them, and Gert finds it so adorable that she might just combust. "Do you, uh, do you want kids?"

She asks it in an even tone, hopefully not betraying the subtext of her question.

Hopefully not reading into it, Chase nods. "Absolutely. I love children, they're so sweet and so smart and so curious about  _ everything _ . And I think I'd like the chance to be a good father, if I could."

His face changes into something conflicted, and maybe a little sad. Gert wonders what he's thinking.

She reaches over to pat his hand. "You would be a great father, Chase."  _ Of my children, preferably, but it still applies otherwise.  _ Gert isn't going to  _ say _ that, because she is Not that bold, but the sentiment is there. Which is totally stupid, to be honest, because she couldn't be more of a virgin if she tried.

Chase gives her a soft look, turning up his hand to entwine their fingers. Gert is having a  _ really _ hard time keeping a blush off of her face right now. "I'm so happy that I got to meet you in person, Gert. Like,  _ so _ happy, seriously."

God, she wants to kiss him. Just wants to lean across the table and smash their lips together, not caring about the consequences _.  _ Wants to see how he'd react, wants to know if he'd kiss  _ back _ .

But even if he did, what then? Long distance? No. And, besides, even if he does feel the same way...he deserves a lot better than Gert, anyway. So there's no use trying to make anything happen. No use at all.

~~~~~

**_HAPPY HOLIGAYS_ **

**_27/12/17_ **

**_Sexy Santa _ ** _ sent a photo _ **_: [a selfie of Gert and Chase, their faces squished together to fit in the frame. Both of them are blushing]_ **

sugarplum fairy: ahh!!!! You guys met up!!!!

**_Jack Skellington: THAT’S SO GREAT I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU_ **

frosty the snowman: my bisexuality: heightened

**_Jack Skellington: I'm cuffed but mood_ **

**Sexy Santa: 'cuffed'? Also, thnx for the well wishes!!**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: 'well wishes' ur a dork**

**Sexy Santa: COME SAY THAT TO MY FACE JERK**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: yep it's the first thing I'm saying to you tomorrow**

frosty the snowman: wait y'all are meeting up again?

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: yep!!! At the louvre!!!!!!! I'm so excited (both for that and the LOUVRE)**

frosty the snowman: hmmmmm

frosty the snowman: so is that the last time ur seeing each other or...

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: ummmm I'm trying to get a plus one for this new years thing we're doing**

frosty the snowman: ooooooh

**Sexy Santa: why was my question abt what cuffed means never answered**

**dreidel dreidel dreidel: because ur dumb**

**_Jack Skellington: because it was a dumb question_ **

**_Jack Skellington: SAME FUCKING HAT!!!!!_ **

~~~~~

Chase has been trying to come up with a good pickup line for the past half hour. He and Gert have been walking around the Louvre together since she separated from her school group for 'free time', and he can't come up with  _ anything _ . Like, one cheesy, museum/artwork based pickup line. One. And his brain just can't churn one out. Though, it doesn't help that they've been practically on the run from Eiffel and her neon pink claws since he showed up. Jesus, that girl is relentless.

_ You're more beautiful than-  _ no.  _ You should be hung up there with the other masterpieces- _ no. Weird.  _ You are- _

"Wow," Gert breathes, and oh, right, he's actually  _ with her _ right now, and should be paying attention.

Chase turns to see what she's looking at, and oh, of course. They've reached the most famous piece in this whole museum- the Mona Lisa. He's seen it before, but every new visit still brings the same amount of awe and astonishment.

He looks over at Gert, and God, she's stunning. Her face is open and wonderstruck, like she can't believe she's here, like she can't believe she's really seeing this in person.

"I always thought you kind of looked like her, you know." This isn't a baseless compliment. Chase doesn't know when his brain made this connection, but the do look a little similar.

Gert turns to him, eyes wide. "Really? Why?"

"I don't know," he says, reaching over to ghost his fingertips along her cheekbone for about half a second. It's still enough for her cheeks to turn bright red. "I think it's the eyes."

"O-oh. Th-thank you."

Chase grins a little. "Of course."

They walk around a while longer, but Gert's face stays red as strawberries the entire time. Chase has a hard not time not feeling overly proud of himself for it.

~~~~~

**_Gert and Chase need to get together_ **

**_29/12/17_ **

Alex: so laid ease

Alex: how do we make this happen !

**_Nico: did you really. Did you really make a new chat Just for this_ **

Alex: and what abt it?

**_Nico: :////_ **

Karolina: our best bet is that New Years party

**_Nico: what's Gert gonna wear tho_ **

**_Nico: has her party clothes style evolved past 'frumpy vampire' or do we have to force her to wear a dress_ **

Karolina: gfsdcxfgwfkjl

Alex: she showed me the dress

Alex: it was hot

**_Nico: why did she show YOU the dress????_ **

**_Nico: your fashion sense is horrible???_ **

Alex: RUDE

Karolina: Alex in the ninth grade you wore the same shirt for a month straight just to see if you could

Alex: ok valid

Alex: anyway

Alex: she looked really pretty and her accessories were *chef kissing fingers*

**_Nico: I'M PISSED_ **

**_Nico: I'M THE QUEEN OF ACCESORIES AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO ASK ME_ **

Karolina: hey babe just wondering how many bracelets are you wearing right now

**_Nico: um. Eight on my left arm nine on my right for asymmetry_ **

**_Nico: what's it to ya_ **

Alex: you: I'm the queen of accessories

Also you: *is wearing seventeen bracelets from Hot Topic*

**_Nico: choke_ **

**_Nico: anyway I think they need a ship name_ **

Karolina: how about gertchase?

**_Nico: boring_ **

Alex: ...Gerse?

**_Nico: sounds like a foot disease_ **

**_Nico: OH I'VE GOT IT_ **

**_Nico_ ** _ changed the chat name to  _ **_Chert Chat_ **

Alex: oh how fucking iconic

**_Nico: I know ugh my mind right_ **

~~~~~

Gert is having the time of her life right now.

It's New Year's Eve, and she's in a  _ ballroom _ . That  _ was already a part of the hotel.  _ How fucking cool is that? Gert doesn't understand how Eiffel could ever think this place was shabby. She looks great, too- or at least Gert would like to think she does.

The party is actually pretty chill for a bunch of Irish teenagers with not enough supervision, though Gert is pretty sure she saw Brian pour half a bottle of Sourpuss in the punch- she wonders where he even, like, got it. Did he bring it? Did he acquire a fake ID? Did he summon it somehow? She knows his family are old, old Irish, maybe there's some sort of magic component to this? The rational part of her brain tells that thought that it's insane, but the other, more willing to see the truth side says,  _ your sister was abducted by faeries, anything is possible. _

What doesn't seem to be possible, though, is Chase actually showing up tonight. Gert doesn't get it. She went out of her way to beg and plead for a plus one, and, what, now he's just going to bail on her?

"Hey, G, you alright?" A voice asks, and Gert whips around, her face falling when she sees it's just Brian. He does clean up quite nicely, though, and he actually combed his hair for once. "Jeez, you don't look happy to see me."

Gert sighs. "It's not that, I was just...expecting someone else."

He takes a sip of his (clearly spiked) drink, then says, "That guy you've been hanging around with, right? How do you even know him, anyway?"

"We, uh, met through a friend. Remember when I did the exchange program a few years ago? I know her through that, and she introduced us."

"And, what? Is he...your boyfriend?" Brian rocks on his heels, looking suddenly nervous, and...huh. Okay, this...unexpected? They're not great friends, or anything, but he's nice, and funny, and she's not totally against it.

Or, she wouldn't be, if she wasn't ass over teakettle for Chase. But isn't Gert supposed to be getting over him? Isn't that what she told herself? "Um, Chase isn't- no. No, he's not."

"I'm not what?"

Oh. He's here.

~~~~~

Gert whips around to face him, and Chase has to catch his breath. She looks  _ amazing _ . Her lips are painted ruby red, and it's such a tantalizing shade that all Chase wants to do is drag her to some dark corner and kiss it all off. The dress she's wearing is a deep, midnight blue, with a neckline bordering on plunging. She's stunning.

Unfortunately, she also seems to be very, very pissed at him.

"You  _ asshole _ ," Gert says, stomping up to him. The guy she was talking to, big eared and gawky, makes a surprised face, then retreats. Gert gets up close close enough that Chase can smell her perfume- orange blossoms and vanilla.  _ Jesus _ \- and pokes his chest angrily. "Where  _ were _ you?"

"Traffic was absolutely  _ awful _ , I am  _ so _ sorry." Getting here was an absolute disaster, it's a wonder Chase didn't crash the rental car.

She crosses her arms, still upset. "You could've at least called, you know."

Chase sighs. "I seriously would have if I didn't literally lose my phone." He runs a hand through his hair, blowing out a breath. "I really don't know what happened to it, Mum is gonna be pissed."

"Jeez, this is not your day," Gert says sympathetically, and Chase sees in her eyes that he's forgiven.

He shrugs. "Well, I'm with you, now, so it just got a whole lot better."

Gert blinks once, twice, three times, her face turning warm and rosy. She gives him a soft, secret kind of smile. "You make my days a lot better too, Chase."

He leans in a little, smirking. "Yeah? And why's that?"

Before Gert can give him her surely flustered response, she's interrupted by a call of, "Chase! Gertie didn't tell me you were coming!"

 

They both heave sighs of annoyance. What is it with Eiffel being so hooked on him?

Gert rolls her eyes. "Hi, Eiffel."

"Yeah, yeah, Gertie-" Eiffel says distractedly, waving her off, "So, Chase, how  _ are _ you?"

"Uh. Fine." _ I was a hell of a lot better before you showed up.  _ "If you'll excuse us-"

"No, wait," Eiffel says, latching onto his arm. Jesus, her nails are sharp. "You can't go yet!"

Chases raises an uninterested eyebrow at her. "And why not?"

Eiffel's expression turns to one of blank surprise. "I- I- uh- I-"

Chase slips out of her grip, he and Gert walking away swiftly. Gert is giggling, delighted, and Chase is pretty sure that it's the best sound in the world.

She hooks her arm through his, closer than Chase could ever wish for as she leans into him, still giggling. "That was  _ so _ funny, God, thank you so much for giving me that experience."

Chase looks down at her glowing face, joyful and rosy-cheeked, giving her a warm smile. "Anytime."

~~~~~

Gert feels like she could talk to Chase forever, and it's definitely a problem. Since he (finally) got here, neither of them have shut up, like, at all. They've talked about their lives, their interests, wherever the conversation leads. Gert finds herself falling for him harder and harder with each new line of discussion, and it's breaking her heart.

_ We can't do this,  _ she thinks as she listens to him ramble about midterms.  _ You can't think this is cute, even if it totally is, because we can't do this. We can't. _

The hopeful side of her brain, the one who's also astronomically  _ stupid _ , whispers in her ear, asking,  _ and why not? What's stopping you? _

_ The 600 kilometre drive, dummy,  _ says the rational, realistic part of her brain, which Gert can always trust to be honest, even if it hurts. And it hurts so, so bad. Especially since it's not just the drive. They're...they're better as friends. Chase can't get bored of her that way, and if he does, it won't hurt half as much.

"And I was...Gert? Are you okay?"

Gert shakes herself out of her thoughts, then gives him a bright, attentive smile. "Yes, absolutely. I'm totally fine."

Chase raises a doubtful eyebrow. Oops, maybe that was  _ too _ enthusiastic. "Are you sure? Do you want me to get you a drink, or something?"

She nods, eager to have a moment to get herself together. "Yes, but nothing from the punch bowl. Brian spiked it, and I don't want to have a hangover on the flight back tomorrow."

Chase's mouth purses. "Brian? Is that the guy you were talking to earlier?"

"Um...yes?"

His mouth doesn't unpurse. In fact, Chase looks even more stressed out by this. Gert wonders why he's so worried. "Right. Uh, I'll, uh, be right back."

And then he's off. It's not just Gert who thought that was weird, right?

~~~~~

Chase makes his way through the clumps of tipsy teenagers, trying to at least make it through the doorway into the smaller room where the refreshments are. It's nice to be at a party where nobody knows his reputation, where nobody knows who his father is, where nobody knows  _ him _ . It feels freeing, almost.

Until he starts making his way back to Gert, drinks in hand, and sees Eiffel giving him the eye from ten feet away.

The weird thing is, Chase thinks she might have researched him, somehow. He knows she's British, so maybe they have mutual friends, but it still feels creepy that she would ask around specifically about a person that she's met, like, twice.

Though Chase tries to avoid it, Eiffel meets him in the large doorway back to the main room, not letting him pass by as she says, "Hey, Chase!"

He sighs. "Hi, Eiffel. Now, if you'll excuse me-"

"Wait, don't leave yet!" She says excitedly, seeming like she's got some sort of plan up her metaphorical sleeve. Her dress is tight and strapless, and so short that Chase figures she  _ must _ be cold. He also thinks that Gert looks much, much prettier.

Chase squints at her in confusion. "And why not?"

Eiffel, a conniving expression on her face, points to the top of the doorway. A cheery bustle of mistletoe hangs from it, twinkling devilishly.  _ Shit.  _ "I think you owe me a kiss, first."

"Um, no, I don't."

"Come on, it's the rules! One little cheek kiss." Eiffel taps her cheek, and Chase sighs.

Because he doesn't want to cause a scene/get slapped/etc, Chase sighs. "Fine, I guess."

She tilts her face expectantly, and Chase leans in to peck her on the cheek- only to meet her lips as she turns forward facing and kisses him. Out of surprise, it takes a moment for him to pull away, but when he does, he exclaims, "What the  _ hell _ , have you ever heard of consent?"

"Aw, come on, I'm not that bad of a kisser, am I?" She says, pouting- but Chase doesn't have time for that right now.

Because Gert is standing only ten feet away, with a look on her face like she's about to cry.  _ Shit. _

~~~~~

Boys are  _ evil _ , Chase is  _ evil _ , and Gert is never trusting any man ever again. Ever ever ever ever ever ever again, actually.

Once she saw one of her now  _ ex _ best friends kissing her literal arch nemesis, Gert ran off, swerving through the crowd and stomping up the first staircase she could find. She had assumed, as one would, that they would eventually lead to her room, but the first door she went through landed her on the roof of the hotel. Gert didn't have the energy to go looking for her room again, so she just plopped down on an unassuming square that jutted out from the floor and hasn't moved since.

She really can't believe this. She can't believe  _ him _ . Like, what the hell, right? Gert knows she has no claim to Chase. They aren't dating, not even close to it, so, really, Chase can kiss whoever the fuck he wants. But when that person is the girl who bullied and outed Gert in middle school...not so much!

The feeling of betrayal is only bolstered by the heartbreak that's settling deep inside of her. Gert knows she's been telling herself that they can't be together, and that she doesn't want to go through the pain of it, and blah, blah, blah, but seeing Chase kiss someone else...well, to say that it makes her sick would be an understatement.

Gert hears the door creak open, and the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "Go fuck yourself, Chase."

"Woah, woah, hey," he says, coming to sit beside her on the block, which Gert did  _ not _ give him permission to do. "Don't I get a chance to explain myself?"

Gert shifts further from him on the block, resolutely turning away from him and crossing her arms. "No."

"Hey, come on...please?" Gert doesn't give him the satisfaction of a response. "Gert, I promise it's not what it looked like."

"B-bullshit," she tells him, teeth chattering a little, because it's cold as balls out here.

"Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?"

_ Yes.  _ "I-I don't want your dumb jacket."

But when Chase wraps it gently around her shoulders, Gert doesn't shrug it off. It's cold, okay? Any other time she'd toss it over the side and let it fall to the street. Well, actually, this seems expensive, so maybe not. It's really warm, too, and it smells like him, and...wait. She's mad. She's supposed to be mad.

"Now can I explain?" Gert pauses, then jerks her head in a nod. "Okay. Thank you. So, what I was going to say is, Eiffel trapped me in that doorway, which also happens to be the only doorway in the whole place with mistletoe hanging from it, and then tricked me into kissing her." Gert scoffs. Yeah, right. "No, it's true! She coerced me into kissing her on the cheek, and I leaned in to do it so she didn't cause a scene, and all of a sudden she's kissing me! Unbelievable, right?"

Though he can't see it, Gert rolls her eyes. "Just like that story. You really think I believe any of that?"

"Well, I would like for you to, seeing as it's the truth."  _ Stop sounding so sincere. You're making me want to forgive you. _

"Yeah, sure," Gert says, "just like your dumb 'Avril Lavigne is a clone' theory is the truth."

"Sooo, what you're saying is, you believe me? Because that's not just a theory, it's the cold, hard-" Gert interrupts him to let out a small giggle, amused by his antics, and Chase makes a loud triumphant noise. "Aha! I made you laugh!"

Struggling not to smile, Gert says, "No, you did  _ not." _

"Hmmm," Chase says, scooting closer to wrap an arm around her waist. "You sure?"

Gert melts. She can't help it, okay? She's still super mad, and everything, but, also, Chase is really warm, and sturdy enough for her to lean against, and he smells so  _ good _ , Christ.

Chase presses his face into her hair, pulling her closer, and Gert lets him. She lets him hold her, too, not pulling away, even though she should be. She's weak for Chase- but that's not news, is it?

"I really am sorry, you know," he says softly, and Gert sighs.

"Being sorry doesn't make me less pissed." But her tone is tired and sad, not angry.

"I know. Still sorry about it, though."

Gert laughs a little at that, and then they just sit together, taking in the skyline.  She's in the middle of thinking of something to start a conversation about, when her 12 o'clock alarm goes off- and then the sky lights up with fireworks.

"Wow," she says, turning to Chase- but he's already looking at her when she does. He seems to be considering something, so heavily that Gert can almost see the gears turning in his mind. "Chase? What is it?"

He kisses her. It's an intense kind of kiss, the type where he grabs her face and crashes their mouths together- not that Gert would know it from any other kind of kiss. This is her very first, and Chase is stealing it right from under her nose. If she were more present, she'd be angry, but she isn't, so Gert just pulls him closer, humming into his mouth as she wraps her arms around his shoulders. She doesn't really know what she's doing, just hoping for the best, really, but Chase  _ definitely _ knows the intricacies of this, from how fucking good this kiss feels. He slips his tongue into her mouth, and Gert lets out a soft moan, curling her hands in his hair, and-

Holy shit, they shouldn't be doing this. They should  _ not _ be doing this. She pulls back to tell him just that, but before she can get out half a syllable, Chase kisses her again, and it all melts away...

Until it doesn't. They  _ cannot _ do this.

Gert pulls back, sliding out of Chase's grip and scooting away from him as fast as humanly possible.

Caught off guard, Chase asks, "W-what'd I do? I thought-"

"You thought  _ wrong." _

"But you kissed _ back!" _ God, he sounds devastated.  _ This is for the best this is for the best this is for the best. _

"So?"

_ "'So'?  _ Gert, you have  _ got _ to be kidding me. You're telling me that kiss didn't mean anything to you?" His voice is edging on desperate, and even though she's refusing to look at him right now, Gert knows he's got his whole frustrated 'brows creased, arms spread out, and eyes pained' thing going on right now.

Trying her best to hide her sniffling, Gert says, "N-no, it didn't."

_ "Bull _ shit."

"Don't act like you know me or my feelings, okay?" Gert tells him, wiping at the tears that threaten to spill over with the heel of her palm. "You're only going to get yourself hurt."

"What does  _ that _ mean?"

"It means," she says, standing up, "that you shouldn't have kissed me, and that I- I don't like you that way."

_ "Liar." _

Her fists clench. "Excuse me?"

Chase stands, getting up in her face and poking her in the sternum. "I said,  _ liar." _

Gert makes an angry noise. "I'm not a-  _ mph!" _

He kisses her again, but this time it's not as magical. This time it feels like he's trying to shut her up.

Gert wrenches away from him. "You can't just kiss me and make everything go away, okay? That's  _ not _ how that works!"

"And why not?"

"Because one kiss doesn't erase 600 kilometers of distance! Do you know how long of a drive that is? Of course you don't, but I do- it's  _ eight and a half hours _ ."

Chase's mouth screws up. "And what's so horrible about that? Long distance is-"

"Chase, I am not just gonna wait by the phone for a few months until you decide you're sick of me and dump me over fucking iMessage or some shit."

His face falls. "Gert, I would  _ never _ do that."

"Of course you would," she says coldly, just to get the point across. Gert doesn't know if she actually believes it or not.

"I'm glad to hear your opinion of me is so high," Chase says, watery voice soaked in anger and heartbreak. God, he's never going to speak to her ever again, is he?

_ Good. Make him hate you, make him  _ **_despise_ ** _ you- only then will he be free to go on without you burdening him.  _ "It isn't."

Gert storms off the roof and stomps down the stairs, not stopping until she reaches her room, she strips, jumps in bed, and cries herself to sleep. Though she's sobbing, Gert falls asleep knowing she's made the right choice- until she wakes up at four AM with a stomach chock full of regret and desperation. She calls him three times, and leaves three equally apologetic and heartbroken voicemails lamenting what a dumbass she is. Why did Gert go and do that? Why is she so stupid?

It's only on the fourth call that Gert remembers Chase's story about losing his phone. And that's when she gets an idea.

"Listen, okay? I know- I know I said some stupid shit. A lot of stupid shit. And I'm sorry for that. And- and I'm still not sure this could work out, but...but let's make a deal, anyways..."

~~~~~

_ "...I'm leaving tomorrow from Charles de Gaulle Airport. We'll be going through Security at eleven AM, and getting on the plane at 12:30. S-so if you get this voicemail, and show up to say goodbye, then it's meant to be, and we'll figure it out. But if you never get this, then- then I get it, if you hate me. Just know that I'm sorry, okay?" _

Shit.

Chase just woke up from a heavy, heartbreak induced sleep. His phone, which he'd found in the glove compartment of the rental car on the drive home- it's a wonder he even  _ made _ it home. He could barely see the road from how hard he was crying- has been charging on his nightstand since he got home last night. He'd flopped down on the bed, tugging off his clothes and curling up into a ball to cry. And cry some more. And cry some more after that.

It's only now that he's woken up- at  _ 10:30, shit- _ that he's listened to the last of four heartbroken voicemails from Gert. She'd called him at four AM, and Chase wishes he was more of a night owl so he could've just  _ picked up _ .

Chase knows she didn't mean what she said last night. He knows that they can make this work, if they try.

But them even having a chance requires him to get to the busiest airport in the city in the next 30 minutes. Chase hopes to God that he can make it.

~~~~~

Gert waits for Chase as long as she's able. She is the last one on the bus, the last one in line as they march to Security, the last one of their group to pass through the gate and on into the other side of the airport. She lags behind as much as she can, hoping against hope, but it's all for naught.

Chase doesn't show up.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :) enjoy

Getting your heart broken by someone who lives eight hours away is probably the sharpest double edged sword known to man.

 

On the one hand, you don’t have to see their face. You don’t have to think about how you weren’t good enough for them, how no matter how many times you apologized they still didn’t show up. You don’t have to think about how this is half your fault, anyway.

 

But on the other hand...all you want is to go to them and fix things. You’re desperate to hop in the car and drive all the way to their house and tell them you’re sorry, that you didn’t mean it, not really, you just got scared. And you can’t. You can’t, because you don’t have that kind of gas money. You can’t, because you have work in the morning. You can’t, because at your core, you know that the two of you would never have worked out, anyway, so what’s the point?

 

This weapon of hers is long and razor-edged, hanging over her head each night as she sleeps like her own personal sword of Damocles. In the haze between dream and wake, Gert can almost feel the tip of it against her forehead. Sometimes, she dreams it’s Chase on the other end of it, gripping its hilt in preparation to swing. Sometimes he smiles at her as he does it. Other times, he’s got tears pouring down his face, and even in the dream she feels the pain of knowing she deserves it.  Sometimes she’s pitiful enough to be happy that if she’s getting put out of her misery, at least she gets to see his face one last time as it’s happening.

 

But only sometimes.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase wishes he could find a word for what he’s feeling.

 

It’s been weeks since Paris, and he hasn’t been able to take something that even resembles a break since he showed up to the airport not fifteen minutes too late. First, it was his mother and her socialite bullshit. _Have you met my son? Isn’t he handsome? Don’t you just want to give me money for charities because of how handsome he is?_ After a week and a half of fake smiling and aching so much he was sure he had a heart disease, school started up again, which is somehow _worse_. No friends, no free time, no success in anything he passed in? Yeah, definitely worse. And the entire time, his mind can only focus on Gert. It’s the worst kind of torture, wanting to fix things and knowing he’s not able to, not unless he hopped in a car and drove eight hours. And even if he did go, who’s to say Gert would even want to see him?

 

It doesn’t help that his weekends have been filled with interning at his father’s lab. He had already agreed to start working here after the winter break, and his father hates when he goes back on things, so he couldn’t just be like, _well, my heart is broken, so, no, I don’t really want to clean out animal cages and do paperwork all day, thank you very much._ God, can you imagine if he had actually said that? He huffs a laugh to himself, imagining the ruckus it would’ve caused.

 

“What’s funny?” A voice asks, and he shakes himself back to reality- and back to the aforementioned lab. He’s interning with one of his father’s overworked employees today, but at least this one is nice. Her name is Anna, and Chase is fond of her smile. It’s toothy, like she’s always laughing about something. What, he isn’t sure.

 

“Nothing, nothing,” Chase says, turning his eyes to the mice scurrying around in their cage. He touches one of the tiny bars of the cage, and a fat mouse drags itself over to investigate. It looks up at him, twitching its nose, and, suddenly, Chase has found his word.

 

_Trapped._

 

~~~~~

 

**_Chert Chat_ **

**_13/01/18_ **

 

Nancy Meyers stan _added_ _Good Golly Ms. Molly_

 

_Good Golly Ms. Molly: uh_

_Good Golly Ms. Molly: hello?_

Nancy Meyers stan: hey munchkin

**_big witch energy: Alex why did you add Gert’s little sister to our secret chat_ **

_Good Golly Ms. Molly: OH_

_Good Golly Ms. Molly: IS THIS THE INFAMOUS GROUPCHAT_

 

lesbigay: ummmmm a version of it

 

_Good Golly Ms. Molly: what’s this now?_

 

Nancy Meyers Stan: this is the super secret get-Gert-and-Chase-together chat

 

_Good Golly Ms. Molly: oh hm _

 

_Good Golly Ms. Molly: and why was I added to it _

 

lesbigay: because Gert and Chase have barely been online

 

**_big witch energy: and when they are online they’re pissy as fuck_ **

 

lesbigay: hey hey hey there’s a kid here now let’s keep it clean

 

**_big witch energy: oops sorry let me get out the Windex_ **

 

lesbigay: fuck off

 

**_big witch energy: :O I thought you said no cursing_ **

 

lesbigay: die

 

lesbigay: anyway

 

lesbigay: ms Molly

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: yes that’s me _

 

lesbigay: can you fill us in?

 

Nancy Meyers stan: PLEASE

 

Nancy Meyers stan: im so tired of being confused

 

**_big witch energy: you only have one brain cell Alex you’re always confused_ **

 

Nancy Meyers stan: fuck off and let Molly speak

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: okay so basically _

 

**_big witch energy: I’m monkey_ **

 

Nancy Meyers stan: NICO

 

**_big witch energy: what that was funny_ **

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: it was _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: so anyway I only know what Gert’s told me, but from what I can gather: Chase kissed her on New Years _

 

Nancy Meyers stan: OH?

 

lesbigay: WAIT REALLY

 

**_big witch energy: guys come on this was clearly what happened_ **

 

**_big witch energy: Molly ignore the two halves of their dying brain cell and continue_ **

 

Nancy Meyers stan: I resent that

 

Nancy Meyers stan: it’s true but I resent it

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: I’m ignoring you now _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: so they kissed, right _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: but my sister, ever the dumbass, decided the best course of action was to sabotage herself _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: of course she regretted it. Left like a gazillion messages, and told him to meet her at the airport so they could work things out _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: guess who didn’t show! _

 

lesbigay: aw

 

lesbigay: poor Gert

 

lesbigay: poor Chase, too, honestly

 

**_big witch energy: do you know why he didn’t show up?_ **

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: according to Gert, he lost his phone- she didn’t even know if he would hear the messages in the first place _

 

Nancy Meyers stan: OOF

 

Nancy Meyers stan: damb my heart kinda hurts now jeesh

 

lesbigay: okay so now we all know what the question we need to ask is, right?

 

**_big witch energy: umm I think but tell me urs so I don’t sound dumb_ **

 

lesbigay: sigh

 

lesbigay: the question we need to ask is: do they still like each other?

 

~~~~~

 

Molly is worried for her sister.

 

Ever since she returned from Paris, Gert hasn’t been the same, and not in a good way. She’s mopey, and sick-looking, and trying to get her to do anything but the bare minimum is like pulling teeth. Yesterday Molly had to talk her out of quitting her job, and even then, she knew her sister didn’t believe that it was the right choice.

 

God, Molly wishes she had listened to the gut feeling she’d had the morning Gert left. There had been an ominous cloud floating in the pit of her stomach, warning of something to come in her sister’s future that she knew neither of them would like very much. But Molly has never wanted this- this _power_ of hers, the one that gives her vague glimpses of the future like a built in deck of Tarot cards. So, she ignored it. She shouldn’t have, obviously. She knows that now.

 

But one thing you might not know about Molly is that she’s a master schemer. And this plan of hers- the one that’s going to fix things, the one that’s going to make Gert happy again- is about to top them all.

 

First, she searches up women’s conferences in the area. There’s one for Women In STEM next weekend, and, yep, they have spots for presenters open. Only two, but if she does this right, she’ll snatch one of them right up. The next thing she does is go to Youtube and watch countless videos of Janet Stein, Chase’s mother, at conferences and banquets and the like. She watches video after video after video, until she’s sure she has her voice down pat. After she’s perfected the imitation, she looks up the number to Janet Stein’s office, affecting an adult-y tone to her voice as she speaks with Mrs. Stein’s receptionist. Pretending to be an organizer for the conference, she plans out all the details for Janet Stein to come to their town. Once everything is set, she calls the actual conference organizers, pulling out that imitation of hers and having a very short conversation with a woman who is clearly a big, big fan of Janet Stein’s.

 

And then she’s set. Now, all she has to rely on is Chase’s mother making him tag along, or better yet, him asking to come.

 

There’s a voice in the back of her head as she puts the phone back down, telling her that maybe this much meddling is at least a little evil. But, hey, if she’s got this talent in mischief (no doubt from a certain excursion she went on as a child that involved fae people and time travel, but whatever) then why not use it?

 

~~~~~

 

“Chase, dearest,” Mom says as they eat breakfast that morning. Chases tenses up immediately, because ‘dearest’ always means, _I’m about to make you do this thing whether you like it or not._

 

“Uh...yes, Mum?”

 

“I was wondering...would you like to go away this weekend? I have a conference, and you’ve been so…” _miserable_ . _Heartbroken. Woebegone._ God, that’s one of Gert’s words, isn’t it? Great, now he’s even more… “Downcast, lately.”

 

Chase shrugs, not hating the idea. “Where to?”

 

“Just this little town outside of Dublin.” His eyes snap open, and he sits up straight as a ruler.

 

“Dublin? Like, Ireland, Dublin?”

 

Mum huffs a laugh. “Chase, dear, what other Dublin’s are there? And is that a yes?”

 

_“Yes_ , it’s a yes.” The words are out before he can think it through, but it’s done, now, so he can’t really go back on it. Even if he doesn’t know for sure that this is the town where Gert lives. Or whether or not she’ll even want to see him. But, God, what if she does? What if this is his chance to fix things?

 

He rides his Possibility Surfboard™ on this new wave of hope practically all day, thinking through everything he could say to get his girl back. Well, not ‘his’ girl. If they were talking right now, Gert would probably chastise him for that. But you know what he means. He doesn’t, like, own her, obviously. That would be gross to even _imply_. But he can’t say girlfriend, and friend doesn’t fit so well, either- once you’re flirting 24/7 and talk every day, that’s not just friends. Or, it wasn’t, anyway. Now, Chase hasn’t spoken to her in weeks, and it honestly feels like he’s lost a limb. A Gert Yorkes shaped, orange blossom scented limb, but a limb no less.

 

God, he misses her. All he wants to do is hear her voice again, hear her laugh at one of his dumb jokes. And, hopefully, if the stars align and the Fates decide he’s worthy, he’ll be able to. Hopefully.

 

~~~~~

 

**_Chert Chat_ **

**_17/01/18_ **

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: gaydies, _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: I’ve found our solution _

 

**_big witch energy: ooh deets_ **

 

lesbigay: ^^^

 

Nancy Meyers stan: FILL US IN

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: so it took some Olympic level scheming _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: but Chase and his mum are coming here for a conference this weekend _

 

Nancy Meyers stan: wait. What

 

Nancy Meyers stan: how did you do that

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: I have my ways ;) _

 

**_big witch energy: bro_ **

 

**_big witch energy: a winky face ain’t good enough how the fuck did you swing that_ **

 

lesbigay: Nico don’t curse around the kid but also yeah HOW

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: I’m a master of mischief _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: ask Gert she’d tell you _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: actually wait no don’t _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: she’s got no clue this is happening that would generate suspicion _

 

lesbigay: ‘generate suspicion’ you sure are Gert’s little sister alright

 

**_big witch energy: wait. Wait she doesn’t know_ **

 

Nancy Meyers stan: Nico come on

 

Nancy Meyers stan: if Gert knew Chase was even in her general vicinity she’d freak out

 

Nancy Meyers: she would stress over this so hard if we told her

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: exactly _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: anyway yeah Chase is gonna be here _

 

lesbigay: not to doubt but how do you know For Sure?

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: my methods are way too hard to explain but all you really need to know is that I ‘caught wind of’ a certain email from a certain former lacrosse player’s mother saying he’s gonna be there _

 

Nancy Meyers stan: Molly. How the fuck

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ _

 

~~~~~

 

Gert is having the worst Friday in the history of Fridays.

 

School sucks. She bombs a pop quiz in first period, then gets mud on her boots at lunch, and then gets made fun of for said muddy boots by Eiffel, pristine and perfect as always. She even had the gall to ask how Chase was doing, voice sugary sweet and maniacal. Gert just about decked her right there. Thinking back on it, she wishes she had, punishment from the school be damned. She really can’t believe Eiffel asked her about him. How _dare_ she do that, knowing how hard Gert had cried on New Years, knowing it would _crush_ her? The _audacity_. God, she’s such an asshole. Gert can’t fathom why they were ever friends.

 

Sometimes, she wonders how it’s possible that Eiffel changed as much as she did. Used to be, they’d hang out after school and play barbies, or do badly fated science experiments in her backyard when the weather was right. Their summers were spent in Sullivan Forest, sword fighting with big sticks and threatening imaginary villains. And then Eiffel’s parents got divorced, and, all of a sudden, it was like Gert just wasn’t enough anymore. She tried to be there for her friend, but Eiffel shut her out. She didn’t want help, so Gert couldn’t give her any. She felt bad for her, really, truly felt for her former friend- until Eiffel outed her to the whole school by loudly declaring it in a busy hallway, acting as if she was just gossiping with the girl she was talking to. And that’s when Gert’s empathy died. In conclusion, fuck Eiffel Hynes. Period.

 

Anyway, back to how bad her day has been, because she’s in a bitchy mood and she has a primal need to complain at all times- she’s also mind-numbingly stupid, if the six hour shift she decided to take tonight is saying anything. It was a bad decision, but Gert would rather distract herself with work than sit at home, thinking about how much she wants to talk to Chase. Just to hear his voice. Just to tell him about how shit her day has been. Just to know what he’s doing. Is he eating dinner, right now? Or perhaps he’s at a party, dancing with some girl Gert has never met and never will meet. Maybe she’s pretty. Maybe she’s more gorgeous than Gert will ever be. Maybe he’ll fall in love with that girl, and forget she ever existed.

 

And that’s what she wanted, right? For him to forget her? Because isn’t it better to be forgotten and heartbroken _now_ , than to feel this way when he inevitably dumped her two months in?

 

But, come on. Let’s be honest. Gert has been heartbroken since he didn’t show up that day at the airport.

 

~~~~~

 

Chase is having a Moment.

 

He and Mum have only just arrived at the hotel, and she’s already off to be a socialite, somehow finding the Elite of this tiny community in about five seconds flat. So, he’s on his own, left to wander around town, because the room isn’t ready yet, and he’s not lame enough to wait in the lobby for hours on end. He’s, like, way cooler than that. Probably.

 

Having all this time to himself in an unfamiliar town is weird, and a little scary, so you see why Chase is having a Moment. He has no clue where anything is! And every time he asks a local, they just glare! Is it his hair? Does it make him fratty and hateable? Gert used to say that, like, a lot, but he just assumed it was her weird way of flirting. He’s starting to reconsider it, though, as yet another local rolls their eyes at him when he asks for directions.

 

It’s stupid, but Chase wishes she were here right now. She’d totally know what to do. But the more he looks around town, the more he convinces himself that she doesn’t live here at all- that he mixed up the name of her town with this one, and it was all just wishful thinking.

 

He looks up at the sky, and, woah, when did it get so dark? That was fast-

 

“Hi, do you need help?”

 

Chase whips around, and under the streetlight, there’s a girl. She’s small, only four feet high at the most, with blonde ringlets and shining eyes. Her face is heart-shaped and innocent, but there’s something about her smile…

 

~~~~~

 

Now, listen, Molly isn’t stalking Chase Stein around town. That would be weird. She wouldn’t do that. They haven’t even like, met in person, so she’s not doing that. Nope, not her.

 

Well, she is following him around to make sure he and Gert actually encounter each other. But that’s different, right? It’s not stalking if it’s for a good cause.

 

And it _is_ a good cause. He’s only about thirty feet from the diner Gert works at, and he’s gonna go in, soon, because Molly’s bus gets here in fifteen minutes and he needs to walk in there before then. If he doesn’t, well, that’ll suck, but Molly needs to be on that bus.

 

Her phone dings for the umpteenth time that minute, and she averts her eyes from Chase for a few seconds to check it.

 

~~~~~

 

**_Chert Chat_ **

**_21/01/18_ **

 

Nancy Meyers stan: hey

 

Nancy Meyers stan: hey do you think if I asked Gert she’d tell me if Chase is a good kisser

 

**_big witch energy: Alex shut up challenge_ **

 

Nancy Meyers stan: WHAT DID I DO

 

**_big witch energy: breathe_ **

 

**_big witch energy: also thirst over Chase. Which isn’t allowed because I forbid it_ **

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: I second this _

 

_Good Golly Ms Molly: also will y’all shut up for two seconds I’m trying to make sure they meet up _

 

lesbigay: I’m trying to auditorily picture what ‘y’all’ would sound like in ur accent

 

lesbigay: it ain’t workin

 

~~~~~

 

Molly huffs a laugh, then pockets her phone, looking back to Chase, standing alone under the streetlight. Except he isn’t alone anymore.

 

There’s a little girl standing with him, who Molly is 100% certain is absolutely _not_ a little girl. It’s holding out its hand, and Molly hears it say, in a sweet, innocent voice, “Won’t you give me your name?”

 

Oh, shit. Oh, shit, Chase isn’t from here, he doesn’t know how these things work, he’s about to be the most foolish person alive and actually give this faerie his name, his identity, his very _personhood_. Dumbass Brit.

 

As she stalks up behind Chase, fists clenched and glaring at the little girl, she idly wonders what it’s even doing here. The fae stick to the woods- those are the rules.

 

“Well, it’s-”

 

“Don’t tell her your name.” Molly says, and Chase whips around as the little girl starts to snarl at her. “Oh, stop that. You’re not supposed to be here, anyway. Go back to Sullivan’s, or I’ll-”

 

“Oh, you’ll do what, little girl?” The Faerie says, voice suddenly deep and scratchy. Its face is changing, becoming more sinister by the second. “Beat me with a stick?”

 

Molly throws back her hood, revealing a raised eyebrow, smirking mouth, and eyes lit up like a nuclear glowstick, the way they always are after dark. “Worse. Much, much, worse.”

 

The faerie pales, and then in the blink of an eye, a lone fruit bat takes her place, batting its wings once, twice, three times before flying off. Molly waves goodbye sarcastically, then turns to Chase. He looks more than a little shell-shocked, white as a sheet as he says, deadpan, “That girl just turned into a bat.”

 

“No,” Molly says, shaking her head. “It only looked like it did. They’re particularly good at glamours, which is more than a little annoying.”

 

“W-who’s they?”

 

Molly winks at him. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“I am very much so going to worry about it. Also, do I know you? I’m certain I’ve seen you before.” Oh, did Gert show him her photo? That’s so sweet, awww.

 

Molly shrugs. “I just have one of those faces. Um, anyway, I’ve got to catch my bus, but there’s a diner down the street, if you want somewhere to catch your breath.”

 

Chase nods shakily. “Yeah...yeah, that sounds good. Um, thanks?”

 

But he says it to empty air- Molly’s already started booking it to the bus stop. She’s done all she can, and she’s got a bus to catch.

 

~~~~~

 

Gert is wiping down the counter, getting ready to leave when her shift ends in about twenty minutes, when Roberto comes out from the kitchen, carrying his mini karaoke player that he likes to torture her with. It’s empty as it always is around this time, and Roberto often tries to talk her into singing something for him when it’s like this, so she should have expected it, probably. Her brain is fuzzy, okay?

 

Roberto asks her to sing for him a lot, on nights like these. He’s old, and sort of lonely, and he happens to just love her voice. Calls her the next Madonna when he’s trying to coax her into it, which doesn’t work half as well as he thinks it does.

 

There are two outcomes when he asks, which aren’t as different as she’d like them to be. Sometimes she agrees. Sometimes she says absolutely not, and inevitably gets talked into it. It’s hard for her to say no to people, anyways, but Roberto is an elderly immigrant from Spain whose dead wife used to be a musician, so it’s very, very hard to turn down that sob story.

 

“Roberto, come on, what if somebody-”

 

“No, no, no, it is fine. See, no people!” He waves a hand at the large front window, which, admittedly, shows an empty street. “Please, sing for me, won’t you? Make my night! I even picked a good song, this time.” Gert raises an eyebrow. Roberto’s idea of good music is, like, Meatloaf. “No, I promise!”

 

Gert rolls her eyes goodnaturedly, then takes the toy microphone he’s been trying to hand to her as he turns it on. Oh, _Mamma Mia_. hell yeah, she knows this one off by heart.

 

As the opening music plays from the tinny karaoke player, Gert starts to sing, beginning slow to match the slightly wonked tune of the player. _“I was cheated by you, and I think you know when. So I made up my mind, it must come to an end. Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don’t know how, but I suddenly lose control, there’s a fire within my soul.”_

 

She pumps her fist as she sings, “ _Just one look, and I can hear a bell ring, one more look and I forget everything,”_ delighting in the way Roberto claps his hands together. Just to get a laugh out of him, she decides to play it up a bit more as she sings the chorus, grooving to the tune as she sings, “ _Whoa, Mamma Mia, here I go again, my, my, how can I resist you? My, my, how can I resist you? Mamma Mia, does it show again? My, my, just how much I missed you!”_ Gert is pouring her heart into it, now, letting all her pent up emotions out in the form of ABBA. _“Yes, I’ve been broken hearted, blue since the day we parted, Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma Mia, now I really know,”_ She turns, goofily pointing at the door, eyes closed. She’s so entrenched that she doesn’t notice that the the bell above the door has rung, alerting the staff to the guest. Or who that guest is. _“My, my, I should not have let you go!”_

 

Behind her, she hears Roberto say something akin to _uh-oh,_ so she cracks her eyes open, hoping she didn’t just croon ABBA to some lacrosse bro.

 

What she sees is worse. Much, much, worse. Even if, technically, he is a lacrosse bro. A very handsome one at that, even with his hair tousled and brow furrowed.

 

Gert is so flabbergasted that it takes her a moment to realize who’s standing in front of her. But, when she does, she’s so surprised all over again that she ends up dropping the toy microphone, letting it fall to the floor with a clatter.

 

She blinks once, twice, three times, not believing what she’s seeing, not believing that he’s here. Fists clenched and voice tight, she asks, “Chase?”

 

“Y-yeah.” His voice is shaken, like he didn’t expect to see her either. “Yeah, it’s me.”

 

  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't murder me while i sleep for this


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY BEST GIRL ALESSIA UR AN ANGEL THIS ONE IS FOR U

What’s happening? Because Chase really, truly doesn’t know. 

 

He’s sitting at the counter of Gert’s diner. She’s pouring him a cup of coffee, and acting much, much too normal for the circumstances. 

 

When he’d first walked in, she hadn’t even said anything. It was like there was a total system shutdown of some kind, and since then, she’s been acting...strange. Too polite. Too fake. This isn’t Gert, it’s some knockoff version of her, hiding the real one somewhere as she waits for him to leave. 

 

“Gert,” he starts (for the third time), “can’t you just talk to m-“

 

“What do you take in your tea?” Again, third time she’s done this. She won’t let him get a word in. “Sugar, cream, sweetener-“

 

“I’d rather you just  _ talk  _ to me.”

 

Gert meets his eyes for the first time, and, God, she looks terrified. She looks away a half second later, clearing her throat. “Sorry, ‘conversation’ isn’t really on the menu.”

 

He gives her a look. “Good one.”

 

“Thank you.” She slams the empty pot back in its place with much more force than necessary. “So, how long are you staying?”

 

_ Oh, so you’re talking to me now? _ “I’m here until Sunday.”

 

“That’s nice.” 

 

“Yep.”  _ This is the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had in my entire life. _

 

“Are you flying or driving?” Gert still won’t look at him. Her eyes are on anything but him as she starts wiping down the counter, and all Chase wants to do is reach out and touch her- he’d literally be satisfied with hooking pinkies right now. God, he’s such a loser.

 

He clears his throat. “Uh, flying.”

 

Gert nods, slow and with a little too much understanding. “Right. Make sure to show up on time. I know punctuality isn’t really one of your strong suits.”

 

Chase sighs. “That’s not fair.”

 

“Isn’t it?” 

 

Okay, maybe it’s a little fair. And maybe he’s being kind of a dick- not even kind of, actually, just a dick, plain and simple. What right does he have, to show up like this? Should he just, what, go back to the hotel until Sunday? Chase blows out a breath. “Alright, yeah, probably. You know I can just...leave. If you want.”

 

Gert pauses, and though she’s turned away from him, Chase can practically see the gears turning. “...No. This is- it’s not like I own the place. I can’t just tell you to leave if you’re not  _ directly-” _

 

“That’s not what I asked, Gert. If you want me to go, I will.” When she doesn’t respond, he gets up from the counter, starting to make his way towards the door.

 

“Wait!” He stops, turning around. Gert looks wary, like she’s afraid of both him leaving and him staying. “Wait, don’t...don’t. You should- you should stay. It’s, um, it’s cold out, so...yeah. Plus, I’ve- I’ve got more questions. So. You should stay.”

 

Chase grins, climbing back onto his stool. “Is it cold out? I didn’t really notice.”

 

Gert snorts. “Unsurprising.” He tilts his head at her, confused, and she makes a vague gesture towards...well, all of him, really. “You don’t think anything is cold. Your idea of appropriate winter attire is a t-shirt and board shorts.”

 

“That was  _ one  _ time-” 

 

Gert interrupts him with a laugh, and Chase doesn’t finish, too busy grinning at her. He’s missed her  _ so much. _ She notices his smile, and asks, “What?”

 

“I’m just- I’m just glad to be here, that’s all. I missed your laugh.”

 

~~~~~

 

_ How does he just  _ **_say_ ** _ that? _

 

Gert blushes, looking away. “I...um…I missed you, too. Like, a lot. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry.” Oh, god, it’s all spilling out, now. How does she make herself stop? “You didn’t deserve that. Or any of it. I was a total jerk, and I’m sorry _.  _ You’re not as big of an asshole as I said you were. Like, you’re still an asshole, but-”

 

Chase reaches over, covering her hand with his. It puts a stop to her rambling, which she is extremely thankful for. Who knows what she would’ve said if he hadn’t stopped her. 

 

He squeezes her hand. “Gert, it’s okay. Can we just- can we just start over? Forget it ever happened?”

 

_ No!!! That was my first kiss, I don’t want to forget it!!! I want to date you!!! _

 

But Gert can’t say that. Because if she does, she has to be honest about her feelings, and hell would have to freeze over before  _ that  _ ever happens.

 

So she swallows down every objection, and nods, like the coward she is. “Yeah. yeah, okay. Um, anyway, what do you think of the town so far?”

 

Chase shrugs. “I don’t think the people here like me very much. Anyone I tried to ask for directions acted as though I had just told them I wanted to choke out their grandmother. But otherwise it’s nice.”

 

Gert grins. “Only you would say, ‘the locals hate me, love it here, though’.”

 

He wrinkles his nose at her, and Gert’s heart starts to pound. Is one boy being  _ this  _ attractive even legal? 

 

“So, uh, how have you been? Y’know, since…” Chase clears his throat, looking away. Oh, good, so this is as awkward for him as it is for her. 

 

Though it feels like she’s chewing on glass as she does so, Gert says, “Fine. You know, it’s been...it’s been whatever. You?”

 

He shrugs. “I dunno. I started working in my dad’s lab.”

 

“That sounds cool. What’s it like?”

 

Chase grins, wide and proud- and then he’s off. Gert isn’t sure of how long he talks about the lab, but she knows it’s more than ten minutes. Usually, when a man talks excessively all at once, she tunes them out within the first thirty seconds. But with Chase...it’s different. Even though she doesn’t understand, like, half the terms he’s using, she still pays attention.

 

“...Oh, Jesus, I’ve been talking for, like, way too long. Sorry. It’s not like I even, you know, like working with my dad all that much, because he sucks, but all the science is just so, so cool...I’m rambling again, aren’t I?” 

 

“No-”

 

“Yes. you are.” Roberto is still here? She thought he was cleaning up the kitchen, but, apparently, he’s better at sneaking up behind her than she thought he was. 

 

“Oh, hey, Berto.” She gestures to Chase, who waves. “This is Chase-”

 

“I know him. You talk about him enough that I know him.” 

 

Gert’s face goes so red that her cheeks and a ripe tomato would be indistinguishable from each other. “Ro _ berto!” _

 

Her boss shrugs, backing into the kitchen. Smart. Now he’s not close enough to strangle. “I only speak the truth.”

 

She turns back around to find Chase grinning like a maniac. “Shut up if you want to live.”

 

He throws his hands up in the air. “I didn’t even say anything!”

 

“No, but you’re a total open book, Chase. I always know what you’re thinking- so as such, shut  _ up.” _

 

Gert is expecting one of those sharp laughs of his, the ones that make her feel all tingly, but...that’s not what happens. Instead, his face goes all soft, and his cheeks turn rosy. “...What?”

 

He shakes his head a little, and his hair bounces jovially.  _ Can I pleeease kiss you? Just once? Please?  _ “Nothin’.”

 

She props her elbow up on the counter, plopping her chin into her palm. “You know I don’t believe that, right?”

 

And again, there it is. That blushy, gentle look on his face that makes her want to kiss him more than words can say. It would fuck everything up- they’re literally only talking to each other because they both agreed to ‘forget’ their history- but she still wants to do it. Still wants to lean in and brush her lips against his, still wants to curl his hands into his hair as she does it, still wants, wants,  _ wants _ .

 

~~~~~

 

“You’re staying at the  _ Murder Hotel?” _

 

It’s some time later, and Chase is on his third cup of Chai- though he’s pretty sure Gert switched it to Sleepytime tea by cup three. He’s just finished telling Gert where he’s staying- Branson Hotel- and now he is very, very scared. “Murder  _ what now?” _

 

“The Murder Hotel! Chase,  _ eleven people _ have died there.  _ Eleven _ .” Well, that’s terrifying. “I know you’re about to ask, so: murder, triple homicide, two accidental deaths, an overdose, a really old dude who died in his sleep, and, like, three separate pushings.”

 

_ “Pushings?” _

 

Gert rolls her eyes. “Off the railing, dummy. Anyway, you’re not staying there, I forbid it.”

 

His eyebrows crease. “Where am I gonna stay, then? It’s not like I’ll find a room this late-”

 

“With me. Text your mother to find another hotel when she gets back from her weird all night meeting thing, and we can get your stuff in the morning, but there is no way I’m letting you get murdered. Nope, nuh-uh, no  _ way.” _

 

“Um, thank you? But-”

 

“You’re welcome. And don’t argue, you know you won’t win.” He does, in fact, know that, so he keeps his mouth shut. 

 

Gert tosses her hair as she checks the money in the register, and Chase can’t help the way he zeroes in on it. Her hair looks so soft, and shiny, and he wants to run his fingers through it so bad that he aches. A wisp of violet hair has staticked itself to her cheek, and, gosh, she’s so  _ pretty.  _ Just bone-deep, earth-shakingly  _ gorgeous.  _ It’s almost unfair. How does anyone else compete?

 

Gert meets his eyes, and gives him a small, warm, grin. Answer: they don’t.

 

~~~~~

 

“Why do you have so much shit in  your car?” Chase asks as he climbs in, surveying all the junk piled in her car. She had to move her book bag to the back for him to be able to get in, which was probably stupid. She should have done it before he even opened the door. Then, maybe, he wouldn’t have noticed that there’s just the right amount of random crap to fill each seat. It’s smart to do that, when you’re aware of how certain creatures might want to take advantage of an empty seat, but to a British city boy it must seem absurd.

 

“I just...do. It’s a thing, here. An empty car would be weirder than a cluttered one.” Explaining in detail would take too much energy, and she’s already extremely emotionally exhausted, so a full explanation will have to wait until morning.

 

“Why, though?”

 

Gert smiles to herself as she pulls onto the road. “You and your questions. You ever thought of becoming a detective?”

 

Chase shrugs. “I dunno. Sorta. I’ve always liked mystery shows like that- but I don’t think I could do the whole cop thing.”   
  


_ Good answer.  _ “Oh?”

 

“Yeah, I just- I dunno. Cops are so inefficient, sometimes, and the whole system just seems so backwards to me. Plus, the outfits are just  _ bonkers-  _ I can’t believe they let themselves leave the station in those monstrosities.”

 

Gert huffs a laugh. “They’re certainly not very fashionable.”

 

Chase blows out a breath, flopping back in the seat. “That’s too kind, and you know it. They look like Fisher-Price toys, with their little hats, and- and the-” 

 

He’s waving his hand in a circular motion, like he can’t think of the word. “Those big jackets of theirs, the ones that make ‘em look like Sharpie highlighters?”

 

_ “Yes, _ exactly!” He cries, ecstatic. He turns in her direction, and though her eyes are on the road, she can tell that he’s looking right at her. “Thank you, Gert, that it is  _ exactly  _ what I meant.”

 

Gert still hasn’t made eye contact, but that doesn’t mean she can’t tell that he’s  _ looking  _ at her, wearing that big goofy grin of his and staring like an oaf. “Oh, stop that.”   
  


“What?”

 

“The  _ ogling,” _ she says, making a turn. “I haven’t suddenly gone blind, you know.”   
  


“What? Me, ogling, I would  _ never-” _ he blusters, clearly bullshitting his way through an excuse. Gert meets his eyes for a second, raising an eyebrow, then turning her attention back to the road like the good driver she is. Chase sighs, realizing he’s not getting out of this one. “Fine, I might have...maybe...been ogling. But only a little. And only because you’re so- so-”   
  


“So  _ what, _ Chase, spit it out-”   
  
“-Beautiful. Only because you’re so beautiful.” Wait. What? Huh??? HUH??? “There, I said it, are you happy?”

 

“Say that again?” Gert asks, but her voice comes out as a squeak.  _ What  _ is going on?

 

“What, that you’re beautiful?” Like, okay. She’s not stupid. She knows that when a boy kisses you, it usually means he thinks you’re pretty. But, clearly, Chase is also  _ completely  _ delusional. Off his rocker, out to lunch, mad as a fucking hatter. 

 

Gert scoffs, then mutters, “You need glasses.”   
  


“Have them. They work great.”

 

“Oh my God, do you really?” Gert can’t stop the giggle that comes out, picturing Chase in a pair of cokebottles. “Are they nerd glasses? I bet they’re nerd glasses.”

 

“...They may or may not be nerd glasses. I’ll show you tomorrow, when we go get my stuff.”   
  


“Oh, don’t worry about that. I have a buddy who works in the pub- or, no. No, his parents work there. But, anyway, that friend has a friend who’s a bellhop for the Murder Hotel, which, yes, I disagree with either of them being there, but you know, not really my choice, and no staff has been murdered there,  _ yet, _ so-”

 

“Gert. Your point?”

 

“Oh, right. Anyway, that bellhop friend is gonna deal with your bags and drop them off.” Gosh, Chase sure is good at making her ramble like a loon. Is this what crushes are like? Gert never really had one before him, not a real one. “We probably passed him on the road, actually. Actually, we totally did, Brian was driving him in his pick-up, I saw them.”

 

“...Brian?” His voice wavers. “Didn’t I- didn’t I meet him, once?” 

 

“Yeah, you did. He’s cool, we’re buds.” Chase makes a choked noise, and her eyebrows crease. “Are you okay?”

 

“Fine. I’m- I’m fine.” Wow, Chase is shit at hiding how he feels. “Whatever.” 

 

“Okayyy, liar, now be honest this time.” 

 

“No, thank you.” He’s fidgeting, and not looking at her anymore. Huh. 

 

Gert snorts. “Polite, are we?”

 

He doesn’t respond, save for a small nod, and for the last stretch of the drive he keeps quiet. It’s like even the mention of Brian shut him up, which is...weird. What did Ginger Dumbo ever do to him?

 

~~~~~

 

Fucking  _ Brian. _ Big eared, traffic cone haired little  _ bitch boy _ . Of course, Chase has only met the guy once, but he can still tell that he’s a bastard. Anyone who flirts with Gert and isn’t Chase is an automatic bastard, by law. By order of the Queen, actually; or, like, God. 

 

Is he being dramatic? He feels like he might be being dramatic. But whatever. They’re at her house now, so he firmly shakes himself out of his thoughts. Or, almost at her house. They’re heading up the driveway, and it’s super long, for some reason. He supposes it makes sense, in someway, since the house  _ is  _ on the top of  hill. Although, calling it a house is almost too nice. It’s small, with a green roof and wood siding. The porch light is on, and Chase feels as though he’s just stepped into a fairy tale. “Wow.”

 

Gert grins. “Nice, isn’t it?”

 

Chase nods. “Very nice. Very, very nice.”

 

“I agree.” She parks, finally, pulling the keys out of the ignition and unbuckling her seatbelt. She looks up, and Chase follows her sightline to the porchlight. It blinks twice, stays lit, then blinks twice again. “Oh, would you look at that? Molly’s waited up for us.”

 

~~~~~

 

**_Chert Chat_ **

**_13/01/18_ **

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly _ _ sent a photo:  _ **_[two people in a tight embrace. Clearly taken through a windowpane. One of them has purple hair, and the other looks like he might be crying somewhat.]_ **

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: gUYS _

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: THEY’RE HUGGING _

 

**_big witch energy: BITCH_ **

 

**_big witch energy: WHY IS CHASE AT YOUR HOUSE_ **

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: DIDN’T I TELL YOU _

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: GERT INVITED HIM TO STAY WITH US _

 

Nancy Meyers stan: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

 

Nancy Meyers stan: SHES SO FUCKING WHIPPED 

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: oh shit I gotta go the oven just beeped and if my bread burns I will literally die _

 

~~~~~

 

Gert pulls away from Chase, reluctant, but knowing that if she doesn’t let go now, she won’t ever. She’ll just hold onto him until the world ends. God, she probably wouldn’t even notice the planet crashing down around her, not tucked into him like that. 

 

She doesn’t even know how it happened. One second they were just standing there, and the next she was leaning in and wrapping her arms around him. He smells so good- like if you took a sachet of vanilla and pine and set it on fire. All smokey and woodsy and sexy. Oh, God, she just described a boy as sexy, is this what she’s come to??? Really??? 

 

She clears her throat, fidgeting with the cuff of her jacket. “Um...sorry, if that was, um, uncalled for.” He’s staring at her again, all doe-eyed and rosy cheeked, like one of those Hollywood movie stars. “I just- I realized that I hadn’t hugged you, yet, so-”

 

Chase leans in without a word, wrapping his arms back around her middle and holding her close. Gert presses her face into his chest, breathing him in. Gosh, he really does smell good. 

 

They stay there for a while, just holding each other. Gert can’t bring herself to let go, and it’s clear that Chase feels the same. He’s holding her so tight that her ribs might break, but Gert can’t bring herself to care. Let them break. As long as he doesn’t let go, let them break. 

 

“You smell good,” she mumbles, and Chase laughs wetly.

 

“Do I?” She hums a yes in response. “Well, so do you. Like orange blossoms, and cinnamon.”

 

_ I do? _ “Thanks. Must be my shampoo, or something.”

 

Chase presses his face into her hair, not trying to hide one bit what it is that he’s doing. “Are you...sniffing me?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You’re such a fuckin’ weirdo, you know that?” Like, he’s Her Weirdo (or at least, she can pretend), but still.

 

“Again, yeah.”

 

Gert shakes her head, pulling away from him and reaching up to ruffle his hair in the same motion. He bats her hand away, protective of his carefully placed curls, and Gert throws her head back in a laugh at his nonsense. 

 

He pouts at her, saying, “Don’t laugh at me, you big jerk.”

 

She steps towards him, poking him in the sternum. “Who’s gonna stop me?”

 

He screws his mouth up, then pokes her on the arm. “I will.”

 

“Will you?” Gert says, poking him on the shoulder this time. “Because I don’t think so.”

 

Chase grins, poking her in the side. “You’d be surprised.”

 

She pokes him in the chest. “Would I?”

 

“Yes.” He goes to poke her again, but Gert steps back, just out of his reach. He tries to get close enough to do it again, but Gert is quicker, giggling as they play what quickly devolves into a childish game of ‘keep away’. He ends up chasing her all the way up the porch steps, finally catching her when they reach the doorway. 

 

His hands land on her hips as he corners her against the doorway, grinning slyly. They’re so close right now that if she wanted to, leaning in to kiss him would only require moving a few inches. It’s crazy, but the way Chase is looking at her is actually making her consider it.

 

“Got you,” he says, voice quiet and teasing.

 

Gert swallows, face burning. “Yeah...yeah, you got me.”

 

The teasing look falls from his face, replaced by something that almost seems like nervousness. He reaches up, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. His fingers graze her cheekbone as he does it, and Gert swears that if he doesn’t kiss her right this second then she might literally die from lack of air. 

 

He licks his lips. “Gert, I…”

 

Gert tilts her face up.  _ Kiss me kiss me kiss me kiss me. _ “Yeah?”

 

Chase bites his lip, then starts to lean in. Gert can’t believe this is happening, like, holy shit-

 

And that’s when the door opens behind her, and Gert tumbles to the floor with a  _ crash _ . She whips around, finding her  _ devil  _ sister staring at the two of them, wide-eyed and regretful.  _ “Molly!” _

 

“Oops? Sorry?” Her sister says, giggling nervously as she starts to back out of the room. 

 

Gert stands, dusting herself off and stomping towards her. “You better be fucking sorry-”

 

“Don’t I know you?”

 

Both of them turn to Chase, who’s staring at Molly with a confused look on his face. He steps inside, closing the door behind him. “No, seriously, I’m certain we’ve met.”

 

Molly laughs nervously in that way she does when she’s lying through her teeth. “N-no, I don’t think we have.”

 

Gert shoots her a look, but her sister shakes her head.  _ What  _ is going on here?

 

“Are you sure? Because-“

 

“Yes, totally sure. Um, I gotta go, I’ve got something in the oven.” Molly backs her way out of the porch, then books it.

 

Gert and Chase share a look. “What was  _ that _ about?”

 

“I’m just- I’m sure we’ve met before. I dunno, it’s so weird.” Chase shucks off his coat, hanging it on the hook by the door. 

 

“Yeah, weird,” Gert mutters. She won’t lie and say she’s still paying attention, because she’s not. As of right now, she’s a lot more focused on Chase’s very prominent back muscles. T-shirts don’t hide much in the way of a strong, sinewy…

 

“You okay?” Chase asks, pulling her out of a very salacious daydream. “You look a bit zoned out.”

 

As he says it, Chase stretches lazily, making the hem of his t-shirt ride up and revealing a strip of smooth, perfect skin.  _ God.  _ “No, I’m-” Gert swallows. Her throat is extremely dry. “I’m fine. Do you want a drink? I want a drink. We should get something to drink.”

 

Chase raises an eyebrow at her, but before he can say anything, Gert is turning around and heading down the hallway towards the kitchen. When he catches up to her, she’s already pulling out the fixings for tea. 

 

“You can head to the living room, if you like. The hearth is still, um, still burning, so...I’ll meet you there, I guess.”  _ Lord knows I need the time to recuperate.  _

 

Though she’s turned away from him, Gert can tell he’s probably making the same smug face as before. “Alright. Two cream-”

 

“Two sugars. I know, Chase.”

 

“...Right.”

 

~~~~~

 

Chase can’t stop fidgeting. 

 

Gert is still in the kitchen, busying herself with tea and taking much too long to do so- and, yes, he knows that that’s on purpose. Gert isn’t one to dawdle, so if she’s doing so, she has a reason. There’s always a reason, with her. Gert never does anything without prior thought. He envies her for it, honestly. He’s much too impulsive for his own good, and it gets him into trouble way too often. 

 

“Tea’s ready,” Gert announces as she finaly joins him, plopping down on the couch after setting the tray down on the table. There’s a tray of cookies, and two mugs- one with the Power Rangers on it, and the other painted with strawberries.

 

“Uh, Power Rangers, or strawberries?” Chase asks, hand hovering over the mugs in uncertainty.

 

Gert leans forward and grabs the Power Rangers mug, taking a sip. “Oh, strawberries, duh. Power Rangers is mine and mine alone.”

 

Chase grins slyly. “Yeah? Suing Saban, are you?”

 

Gert shrugs. “You know me, always in a fight with somebody.”

 

Chase nods, not really agreeing or disagreeing as he takes a sip of his tea. It’s made exactly to his liking, temperature and all. “So, my luggage made it in alright, I hope?”

 

“Yeah, before Molly booked it I made sure it got here. Waiting for you in the guest room, once you’re ready.” She reaches forward to grab a cookie, which makes Chase want one, so of course they end up grabbing the same cookie, because his life is a literal rom-com.

 

“Er, sorry,” Chase says, letting go first after a long few seconds of staring at each other.

 

“No, it’s okay,” Gert says, holding out the cookie. “You can have it.” 

 

“No, seriously, it’s yours-”

 

“Oh, my God, it’s a cookie,” a voice calls, and they both turn to find Molly at the doorway in her pyjamas. “Just share it. Or don’t- there’s a whooole plate.”

 

Gert glares at her sister, who immediately leaves the room just from the intensity of it. Chase is almost ashamed to say that he finds it adorable, as he does with nearly everything about Gert. It’s gotten to the point where there’s virtually nothing she could do that would make him stop having feelings for her. 

 

Gert catches him staring, because of course she does. “You’re doing it again.”

 

Feigning innocence, Chase asks, “Doing what?”

 

_ “Ogling.”  _ She takes a bite of the cookie, regarding him. “You do it a lot, you know.”

 

Chase props his elbow on the arm of the couch, dropping his chin into his open palm and staring openly, now. No reason to hide if you’ve already been caught, is there? “Only with you.”

 

The teasing look falls from her face, and he watches as half a dozen different emotions flicker across her expression in mere seconds. “O-oh?”

 

“It’s not like there’s really anyone else, Gert.”

 

Gert sucks in a shaky breath.  _ “Oh.” _

 

Chase shifts, leaning back against the couch and stretching out an arm. He watches the fire for awhile, too nervous to say much else. He can’t stop tapping his fingers against the arm of the chair, and all he wants is for Gert to just  _ say  _ something.

 

“Your tea is gonna get cold, you know.”

 

...Not what he meant.

 

Chase sighs, raking a hand through his hair. This is so  _ frustrating. _ All he wants is for things to be easy, but everything is always so  _ hard _ , especially with Gert. ‘Gert’ and ‘simple’ are not synonymous words.

 

Gert scoots closer, then; close enough for their shoulders to touch. “You okay?”

 

_ No. I wanna kiss you so badly that it hurts, it aches and burns and I can’t stop wanting, but you so clearly don’t feel the same way, or maybe you do, but I can’t tell which it is because your entire prerogative is to be confusing at all times.  _ “Er. I’m fine.”

 

She leans against him; not by a ton, but enough that he knows she’s there. “Now, that sounded like a big fat lie.”

 

Chase turns to her, realizing that their faces only a few inches apart. God, she’s so pretty, especially in the firelight. “Gert?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

He gulps, making a decision. “Can I...is it okay if we…?”

 

“Oh, spit it out, will you?” She teases, but her voice is warm. Gentle. 

 

He reaches out, cupping her face as tenderly as possible. “Can I…”

 

Gert pauses, then nods. Chase grins, leaning in some more, so close that their lips are mere millimeters apart, and he just knows that this will be the best kiss of his life-

 

Or, it was about to be, until the front door slams open and a voice calls, “Gertie, we’re home! Has your guest arrived yet?”

 

They pull away from each other as if shocked, trading anxious expressions as Gert moves back across the couch. Chase misses her warmth immediately, and squashes down his disappointment as two people who he can only assume to be Gert’s parents walk into the room, both wearing amused looks on their faces. Shit. 

 

~~~~~

 

So, that was the most awkward ten minutes of Gert’s life. 

 

Her parents could very clearly tell what they’d just been about to do, but they weren’t saying anything about it, and neither was she, so she supposes it turned out fine. Even if watching Chase introduce himself gave her the worst second hand embarrassment she’s ever experienced in her entire seventeen years on this planet. Like, Jesus.

 

She’s lying in bed, now, because it’s late, and, logically, she should go to sleep. But she just can’t stop thinking about the kiss-that-wasn’t-a-kiss. She feels like she needs to talk to someone about it- someone that isn’t her sister, though. She’d be weird.

 

So she whips out her phone, and starts typing.

~~~~~

 

**_Nico + Gert_ **

**_13/01/18_ **

 

**Gert: HEY**

 

**Gert: HEY GUESS WHAT**

 

**_Nico: WHAT BITCH_ **

 

**Gert: ME AND CHASE JUST ALMOST KISSED**

 

**_Nico: OMG_ **

 

**_Nico: that sure happened quicker than I thought it would_ **

 

**Gert: ? u knew he was here?**

 

**_Nico: Molly may or may not have clued me in_ **

 

**_Nico: or us I guess_ **

 

**_Nico: y’all were being MIA so we added miss molly for #deets_ **

 

**Gert: skskskssksks??? I feel like I should be offended at y’all snooping but I’m too in my emotions rn**

 

**_Nico: SAP_ **

 

**Gert: AND WHAT ABOUT IT**

 

**Gert: BESIDES UR NOT ANY BETTER THAN I AM WHEN IT COMES TO THIS SHIT AND WE BOTH KNOW IT**

 

**_Nico: oh true enough_ **

 

**_Nico: and I’m happy for y’all_ **

 

**_Nico: you specifically actually sjfhnejk i can’t believe u actually snagged urself a boyfriend_ **

 

**Gert: oh we’re not. He’s not my boyfriend**

 

**Gert: I mean. Smth almost happened sure but he’s not my boyfriend like I said we didn’t Actually kiss**

 

**Gert: my parents walked in and yk. I kinda got scared after that**

 

**_Nico: GIRL WHAT_ **

 

**_Nico: SINCE WHEN ARE YOU A COWARD_ **

 

**Gert: :( I’m not a coward!!! But like... we live nearly 600km apart I’m really not. Willing to do that to myself**

 

**_Nico: willing to do what? Have a real chance at love for the first time in your life?_ **

 

**Gert: that’s it I’m taking off my glasses I don’t wanna c u right now**

 

**_Nico: YOU PUT YOUR GLASSES BACK ON AND FACE THE FACTS!_ **

 

~~~~~

 

Gert wakes up the next morning to find a sticky note stuck to her door. It’s neon pink, and the words are written in Chase’s spiky handwriting. 

 

She stands, stretching as she approaches the door to read it.  _ Gone for a run in the woods, be back soon!! :D <333  _

 

Gert grins at it, her cheeks warming at the sight of the hearts. But then she fully processes the note, and realizes that Chase has picked one of the most dangerous places in town for a tourist to go exploring. Like, sure, she can go into Sullivan’s Forest and come out without a scratch, but Chase? Oh, God, she can’t imagine what’s happening to him right now.

 

~~~~~

 

**_Gert and Chase come back challenge_ **

**_14/01/18_ **

 

**wild goose chase: DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT GERT HAS COWS :O**

 

**wild goose chase: LIKE REALLY FLUFFY ONES**

 

**wild goose chase: I THINK THEY’RE CALLED HIGHLAND COWS OR SOMETHING??? ANYWAY I LOVE THEM I’M PETTING ONE RIGHT NOW I LOVE THEM SO MUCH**

 

**wild goose chase: THEY’RE SO FLUFFY!!!**

 

**wild goose chase: I WAS GONNA GO FOR A RUN BUT THIS IS WAY BETTER**

 

**_big witch energy: I can’t believe Chase is online_ **

 

**_big witch energy: this is like the second coming or some shit_ **

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: *Jewish girl has entered the chat* _

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: *Jewish girl forbids catholic references* _

 

**_big witch energy: fair but how did u know i was catholic_ **

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: gay. Dramatic. Goth. need I say more _

 

**_big witch energy: no i suppose not_ **

 

**wild goose chase: MOLLY!!! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME YOU GUYS HAVE COWS**

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: we also have goats did u know _

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: and chickens _

 

**wild goose chase: :O you’re LYING**

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: nope _

 

**yogert parfait: Chase are you KIDDING me rn**

 

**yogert parfait: I was freaking out when you said u went into sullivan’s jeeeeesus**

 

**wild goose chase: ? what’s so bad abt sullivan’s? Also gm <3 meet me out here!!!**

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: oh don’t get Gert started on Sullivan’s you’ll never hear the end of it. Like, she’s right. But still _

 

surf n’ turf: oh my god. Did you guys make out

 

**yogert parfait: wHAT**

 

**yogert parfait: NO???**

 

**yogert parfait: ALSO @ MOLLY SHUT UP IT’S DANGEROUS OUT THERE IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE AT**

 

surf n’ turf: hm. hmmmm

 

**yogert parfait: karolina are u calling me a liar**

 

surf n’ turf: well I certainly ain’t calling you a truther

 

**yogert parfait: bITCH**

 

Nancy Meyers stan: HEY BITCHES WHAT DID I MISS 

 

Nancy Meyers stan: oh my god chert is back today is so blessed

 

**yogert parfait: CHERT???? FUCKING CHERT???? YOU CHOOSE A SHIP NAME FOR US AND IT’S CHERT???? I HATE YOU GUYS**

 

~~~~~

 

When Chase said he wears nerd glasses, this is Not what Gert was expecting. 

 

They’re tortoiseshell frames, thick and oval-shaped. Behind the glass, his eyes look magnified, bugging out at least three times as large. Logically, this should add up to him looking like a teenage insect, but, unfortunately, he’s adorable. The adorableness factor is upped about four notches from the Highland cows surrounding him, three foot high fluffballs affectionately rubbing up to him. He hasn’t noticed her yet; she’s standing a good ten paces away, after all. 

 

“Morning,” Gert calls, strolling towards him. “You enjoying herself?”

 

When Chase sees her, his face lights up like a Christmas tree. Starry eyes, rosy cheeks, the whole works. “Good morning! You have cows!”

 

Gert kneels down next to him in the snow, not realizing her pyjamas will probably get wet until too late. Oh well. “We do!”

 

She reaches out to pet the nose of the cow closest to her. “Hey, Albie,” she murmurs, stroking the white facial swirl between his eyes. “You missed me?”

 

Albie pushes his snout into her hand, and Gert giggles, reaching to scratch at his ear. Out of all their cows, Albie is by far her favourite, and he knows it, too. 

 

“Albie?” Chase asks, voice soft. When she looks over at him, Gert almost can’t believe how adoring his expression is. She feels like she melt under it. 

 

“Short for Albert. All the cows are named after scientists.”

 

Chase laughs. “Only the cows?”

 

“Yep- chickens are named after monster trucks, and the goats are Welsh kings, for some reason. I name the cows, Molly names the chickens, and my dad names the goats.”

 

Chase nods slowly. “Sounds like a good system.”

 

Gert scoffs. “It was, until Molly decided she wanted her share of the cows. Now we have both a Gertrude Stein  _ and  _ a Beyonce. It’s  _ chaos.” _

 

At  _ Gertrude Stein, _ Chase starts having a coughing fit, eyes bugging out even more as Gert thumps him on the back so he doesn’t, like, choke. “Jesus, are you okay?”

 

Chase nods frantically, wiping at his mouth. “I-m- I’m fine. I’m super. I’m  _ awesome-” _

 

Her eyebrows crease. “Are you sure? You seem, like, feverish, or something.”

 

Gert reaches up, pressing her palm to his forehead to check his temperature. “You’re, like, super warm, dude.”

 

She pulls her hand away, Chase clears his throat. “Y-yeah, but not because I have a  _ fever.”  _ Her eyebrows crease even more, and Chase huffs a laugh. “Uh, ‘Gertrude Stein’?”

 

_ What’s the big deal? It’s just the dumb name I chose as an eight year old-  _ OH. Gert turns red as a ripe tomato as she squeaks out, “Oh, you mean-”

 

“Yep. and it’s not that I think- I mean, I know she was, like, a scientist, or whatever- I just. Um. it was...surprising to hear.” Embarrassed, he blows out a breath. “Uh, anyway. What’s the plan for today?”

 

Gert grins shyly, sill blushing. “I thought...I mean, if it’s okay...I thought we could go ice skating? You can- you can rent skates there. If you want.”

 

Chase grimaces. “That would sound great- if I didn’t suck at skating.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Gert says, timidly reaching out and hooking their pinkies together. “I can teach you.”

 

~~~~~

 

“I’m not sure this is such a good idea,” Chase says as they pull on their skates. He’s surveying the ice, and it does  _ not  _ look safe. For one, this is a real, nature-made lake, which means that the ice could crack, and he could fall, and he could  _ die. _ For two, there are kids on the ice!!! He doesn’t want to hit a kid!!!

 

“Chase, you’re being a baby,” Gert says, tying the laces of her skates into a bow. Not to sound lovesick, or anything, but she looks gorgeous right now. Her hair is so fluffy, and the sweater she’s wearing looks so soft; all Chase wants to do is wrap her up in his arms and never let go.

 

He pouts at her. “No, I’m not.”

 

“Yes, you are,” Gert says, standing and offering her hand, but Chase doesn’t budge. She cocks her head at him. “Come on, please? For me?”

 

Chase sighs dramatically, standing and entwining their gloved fingers. “Fine. but only for you.”

 

Gert blushes, looking away from him. She clears her throat, saying, “Okay, so, we’re gonna start off slow, and as long as you hold onto me, you should be fine.”

 

He grins at her, blushing. “Got it.”

 

They skate around for a while, and Chase is doing awesome. Great, actually. So great that he thinks he might be able to go it alone.

 

Unfortunately, he proves himself wrong only a few seconds after separating from her, slip-sliding and flailing until he crashes backwards onto the ice. 

 

“Oh my gosh!” Gert cries, rushing to give him a hand up. “Are you okay? Did you hurt anything?”

 

Chase takes her hand and pulls himself to a standing position, groaning. “Only my pride.”

 

Gert pats him on the shoulder. “I think it’s time we got some hot chocolate, don’t you?”

 

There’s hot chocolate? Chase totally wants hot chocolate now. “Yes, please.” 

 

Together, they skate back over to where their shoes are, changing out and heading to the booth about twenty feet away.

 

They enter the line, chatting as they wait. “So, what’s your mom up to today?”

 

“Well, she’s moved hotels, right now,” he checks his watch, verifying, “she should be at a meeting about that conference. It’s gonna start around four.”

 

Gert nods slowly. “Soooo, are you...going to that?”

 

Chase smirks. “Why, do you not want me to?”

 

“I mean, do what you like,” she says, shrugging. 

 

He raises an eyebrow at her. “That’s not an answer.”

 

She pauses, thinking. “I...would like to hang out some more. But we don’t have to if you don’t want to, I mean-“

 

“Gert,” he says, grabbing her hand. “Of  _ course  _ I want to.”

 

She grins, then, wide and blinding. God, she’s beautiful. “Good. That’s- that’s good.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Chase smirks, leaning in a little. When she doesn’t immediately slap him, he moves even closer.

 

Gert steps away from him immediately, flustered. “U-um, we’re next.”

 

Chase can’t lie, he’s more than a little disappointed. He really thought that that almost-kiss last night meant something, but...maybe not. “Oh. Okay.”

They step up to the counter, and, mid-order, Gert slips her gloved hand into his. She’s not looking at him, but her face is red, so obviously this wasn’t by accident.

 

Fighting the urge he has to ask her every question he can think of to find out Exactly How She Feels, Chase squeezes her hand. Though she’s still not looking at him, he can see the hint of a smile in her expression, and it feels like enough. For now. 

 

~~~~~

 

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen Stardust. This is disgraceful!”

 

They’re sitting on the couch, arguing over what movie to watch. They’d been out around town for most of the day, but they had to book it back home when it started hailing out. So now they’re sat here in their coziest pyjamas, and Gert is trying very, very hard not to think about what almost happened last night in almost the same position. 

 

“What,” Chase says, grabbing a handful of popcorn. “Dishonor on me, dishonor on my cow, dishonor on my whole family? Just for some movie?”

 

“Chase, you do  _ not  _ get it. Stardust is a cinematic masterpiece, and one of the best love stories of all time! We have to watch it.” Also, watching Stardust means not having to watch Chase’s pick, Die Hard. thank  _ God. _

 

Chase grins, amused by her enthusiasm. “Fine, fine. Stardust it is.”

 

“I knew you’d see reason.” Gert flicks on the TV, pressing play and relaxing back against the couch as the opening theme plays. 

 

For a while, they watch in near silence, save for a few jokes and questions here and there. Just when Tristan and Yvaine meet for the very first time  _ (are you my mother?),  _ Chase stretches, unsubtly putting an arm loosely around her shoulder. Gert blushes, then leans into him, just a little. A while later, she gets brave and gives in, snuggling up to him. Chase moves his hand up and down her side, slow and comforting, and Gert can feel herself drifting off. He’s so warm, and he smells so nice, and today really has...been...long…

 

~~~~~

**_Chert Chat_ **

**_15/01/18_ **

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly _ _ sent a photo:  _ **_[Gert and Chase asleep on the couch. Gert is resting against Chase’s chest, and there is a blanket spread over them.]_ **

 

_ Good Golly Miss Molly: bITCH LOOK AT THIS...ROMANCE!!! _

 

Nancy Meyers stan: ROMANCE!!!

 

**_big witch energy: omg...romance_ **

 

~~~~~

 

Gert wakes up the next morning to find herself tangled up with Chase on the couch, all but lying on top of him as she uses his chest as a pillow. Even though she knows they can’t stay as they are, she really, really wishes she didn’t have to get up just yet. 

 

Chase shifts, then, groaning as he wakes up. He squints down at her, giving her a sleepy smile. “‘Morning. Do you know the time?”

 

She shrugs a little, then sighs, sitting up. “Probably around nine-ish.” She stretches, trying to keep herself awake. “When do you have to leave, again?”

 

For a moment, Chase doesn’t respond, his eyes focused on something around her waistline. She stretches her arms up a bit more, her shirt riding higher with the movement, and Chase makes a sort of squeaking sound.  _ Oh.  _

 

Gert smirks, then lowers her arms, pulling her shirt back into place. Chase pouts a little, and she has to fight the urge to laugh as she says, “Chase, I asked you a question.”

 

He shakes his head a little, dazed. “Say that again?”

 

Gert rolls her eyes at him, then grabs the blanket from him and starts folding. “I asked when you were leaving.”

 

“Oh. Oh, uh, the plane leaves at 2 o’clock, I think?”

 

Her shoulders drop. “Which means your mom is coming in an hour.”

 

Chase sighs, sitting up himself. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

 

She leans against him, then, pressing her cheek against his bicep. “Do you  _ have  _ to go?”

 

“You genuinely don’t understand how much I want to say no, Gert.” 

 

“Oh my god,” Gert says, “You say my name so weird.”   
  


“What? No I don’t!” Aw, he’s pouting, how adorable. 

 

“Yes, you do. There’s an R in there somewhere, did you know?” It’s not like their accents are terribly different, but even Gert knows to pronounce the R.

 

“Oh, shove off. Like you’re any better.” She tilts her head at him, and he rolls his eyes. “You say milk like ‘malk’.”

 

“So?” Gert exclaims, throwing out her hands. “That’s how it’s supposed to be said!”  

 

“Is not.”

 

“Is to!”

 

“Is not!”

 

Gert gets right up in his face, poking him in the chest. “Is  _ to!” _

 

Chase doesn’t respond, too busy staring at her lips with a determined look in his eye.  _ Oh, God, he’s going to kiss me.  _ “Gert, I-”

 

There’s a clatter in the kitchen, and Gert pulls away from him, stunned. She meets his eyes, recovering by wrinkling her nose and saying, “Your breath stinks.”

 

~~~~~

 

His mother’s rental car has just pulled up, and Chase is pretty sure that nothing has ever filled him with such dread. He doesn’t want to leave- he wants to stay, wants to be with Gert for just a while longer. Even a few more minutes would suffice. But, unfortunately, he has a plane to catch.

 

Gert walks him out, nonchalantly wrapping her hand around his as they make their way to the car. Neither of them acknowledge it, but Chase knows it’s her way of saying just how much she’ll miss him. 

 

They stand by the car, both trying to find something to say as Mom chats with Gert’s parents. 

 

Chase fidgets with her hand, asking, “Do you think...do you think we could do this again sometime? Just, you know, if either of us have a free weekend, or anything…”

 

Gert looks away from him, biting her lip. “Yeah, that’d be- that would be good.”

 

Mom walks back to the car, then, telling him to hurry up as she climbs in. Wordlessly, Chase closes the distance between them and wraps Gert into a hug, pressing his face into her hair. 

 

Gert sniffles, curling closer. “I- I hope you have a safe flight.”

 

Chase snorts. If he didn’t know her so well, he’d be a little peeved that that was all she had to say to him, but he knows she means something more than that. “Thanks.”

 

Even though it feels like tearing off a limb, Chase pulls away from her, still not quite letting go. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, saying, “We’ll see each other again, right?”

 

Gert laughs wetly. “Well, I’d sure hope so. You’re still coming on that trip, aren’t you?”

 

Chase blinks, mildly stunned. “I swear to God, I forgot about that.”

 

Gert snorts, which makes him laugh, and it’s not long until they’ve collapsed into giggles, leaning on each other to keep themselves from falling. Gert very nearly trips, actually, but Chase saves her at the last moment by wrapping an arm around her waist to catch her. 

 

“Woah,” Gert says, and that’s when Chase realizes how close they are. “That was close.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Chase says softly, “I had you.”

Gert snorts, then says in a sarcastic tone, “My hero.”

 

~~~~~

 

**_Gert + Chase_ **

**_15/01/18_ **

 

**Gert: is it dumb that I already miss you**

 

**Gert: like you only Just left I can literally still see ur car but…**

 

**Chase: no**

 

**Chase: no it’s not.**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> title is from the scooby doo theme song lmao. i apologize to those who read the original and it got cut-off, i don't know what happened so now im reposting! thanks for reading!


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